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I hate Trying to improve myself

I hate new year, I always each year will be a new beginning or chance for me to become a better person. I plan to get fit or go to DBT therapy. I even made plan on paper at my anxiety meeting. But even me doing one attempt, it bow up in my face. I’m too stupid to even read the insurance policy. I don’t know if I can afford the classes. While everyone else get what they want on intragram, rubbing it my face how they so much better than me and that I’m a losers.

I always go back to place , why bother. It never good enough for everybody. Everyone tell I don’t do enough or I’m too selfish or never mature enough. Sometime I fansty Of ending my life. I think about jump off a bridge or taking a poison to easy my pain. No matter what I do, this who I meant to be. I made mistake that will forever huanted me. I just give up.

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Hey Seimiccoyne! Thanks for reaching out, as I’m sure this is a hard time for you…

Planning to meet these goals is a great first step, its the acting them out that can be the hard part… In regards to the insurance policies, don’t be afraid to ask for help. The papers are difficult for a lot of people and its okay to ask questions, you are NOT stupid for not understanding. Perhaps there is a way to help get funds for the classes?

Social media sucks sometimes, people always sharing/posting amazing things while others cant get/afford them. Maybe it wouldn’t be a bad idea to step away from Instagram or Facebook, take a break from it for a while. Get away from some of the toxicity… I’ve done that in the past and it can be a great feeling.

Don’t give up Seimiccoyne. I don’t know everything that is going on in your life, but what I do know is that by taking one step at a time to help yourself- by focusing on you- can make a big difference all on its own. Rome wasn’t built in a day.

Stay strong friend.

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Hey @Seimiccoyne,

Social medias such as Instagram can be really depressing sometimes. People share a lot of things there, but rarely about current struggles or difficulties. So it may seem like others lives are perfect and goes really well, making us feel that we’re not able to accomplish anything or that we’re worthless. But no matter what people share on social medias, there are still some realities that goes beyond it:

  • Using social medias is like showing your life in a showcase. You want to appear at your advantage and share your successes. But it doesn’t necessarily reflect what’s going on behind the scenes. In fact, we don’t know what’s behind this unless we really know people and how they’re doing. What I want to say here is that it’s more about appearances than anything else, so it shouldn’t be considered with too much importance. Because it can be really harmful to us but also to others when we guess how people are doing only from appearances, from what they have chosen to show or to hide.

  • What people are living, their successes but also their failures, doesn’t mean anything about your own life and value. It’s not because others may reach some of their goals that you are stupid or worthless. I understand that we can easily get trapped in a comparison circle. But there are billions of people on Earth and each human being is unique. The only person you should compare yourself with is… you. Look at your own journey, your own values, achievements, desires. This is what matters and it’s not determined by others lives. Because no one could live your life except you. What you bring to this world is as unique as you are.

  • Sometimes it feels good to take a step back from social medias, especially when it makes us feel bad about ourselves. It doesn’t mean to go away from it forever, but at least having short period times off social medias can be worth it. It’s not impossible and being there is never an obligation. You still have control over what you read and what you can avoid on purpose.

You are not meant to suffer, friend. Life can be incredibily tough and I don’t know what mistake you made. But what I know is that right now you’re still here, you’ve got breath in your lungs and it gives you the power to keep going on and growing no matter what.

New year is generally a great occasion to make positive resolutions. But it can be harmful to put such pressure on your shoulders. Take it easy friend, step by step. An entire year means a lot of time to try new things, to get out a bit of your comfort zone, to improve yourself and take care of you. There’s no need to rush. If this new year’s calendar can help you to get a structure and some kind of positive motivation, that’s super awesome. But please don’t make this a way to stress and diminish yourself. What you planned is really positive! It takes courage to think about it and next steps will be to take actions to do that, progressively.

Hang in there! What you need right now is encouragements and you can already try to give yourself a bit of the grace you need. I believe in you. :heart:

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Thank you man, I really appreciate the kind words.