i’m moving back to my home country in 3 weeks. don’t know how to feel. at first, i was really excited, having to start a new life. my schedule is packed for this month, and i’m kinda feeling sad now. i thought i finally found a place to belong, and i was almost feeling better with my friends. not anymore. my parents hate me, my sister and i dont have a relationship every sibling has, stuff like that. my life is wonky. my birthday was last week, which means im a step closer to having a better life. the same week of my birthday, i found out that i have a small bald spot on the back of my head. i had a doctor’s appointment, and they asked me if i feel any stress or not. i didnt know what to say. i just said no, but i wonder. if i said yes, would they have tested me for mental disorders? would that have been better for me? there is a lot of “what ifs” for me right now. i feel a lot of things. i feel scared, i feel sad, i feel nervous. i dont know how to tell someone. does anyone have any advice for me to tell someone that’s besides my family members and friends?
i have this dream. to run away to a beautiful, nice, quiet place where no one would bother me. don’t know if this made sense for anyone, but if you’re reading this right now, thank you so much. i hope you have a great day.
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Hey @sometimes.emo
I hear you. It can be really hard when you’re not sure of the future and have so many conflicted emotions about things. I think a lot more people relate to your family relationships than you might think. I have friends that do not have blood family as they have either passed or simply don’t get along with them; therefore, they made their own family among friends and the music community. Family can come in all forms and I hope that when you return to your country that in time you will find the support system and family you desire, whether it comes in the form of blood relatives or friends you have had or meet along the way. In relation to your health concern. It does sound like you have experienced some stress and it may be helpful to inform your doctor of what’s been going on in terms of the move and your feelings surrounding it. Our emotions and mental health can take a toll on our bodies sometimes. When my mom passed, I had severe GI issues afterward in which my doctor said was triggered by my grief. It’s amazing to consider how everything in our bodies can link up together including our feelings. Stress doesn’t necessarily mean the doctor will give you a bunch of tests or that it means you have a mental health disorder. It may simply mean that the stress you are dealing with while moving could be taking a toll on your body. I am no doctor but I do think the more information they have the more they can help us when we are struggling. What ifs can be scary but most of the fear is just an illusion. It is easy to get in the habit of saying what if this goes wrong? But have you asked yourself, what if this goes right? What if I move home and rekindle a great relationship with my family? Even if that doesn’t happen, what if I make some new friends and they become my new family? What if I move home and find happiness in a job or friends or a new hobby? What ifs can be scary if we focus on the negative what ifs, but they can bring hope and excitement when we consider the positive what if’s as well! I hope this next chapter in your brings you so much joy and hope and peace .
Thank you for sharing your feelings so openly. It sounds like you’re going through a whirlwind of emotions right now, and it’s completely normal to feel scared and uncertain, especially with such a big change on the horizon. Moving can stir up a lot of complex feelings such as excitement for new beginnings mixed with sadness about what you’re leaving behind.
It’s okay to feel a range of emotions, from nervousness to sadness. You’ve been through a lot and it’s understandable to have “what ifs” swirling in your mind. This is a sign of your awareness which itself is a strength in navigating life’s challenges. Your dream of finding a quiet place sounds like a beautiful longing for peace and clarity! I’ve had plenty of daydreams myself wanting to be off grid and living in a cottage with just me and my dog!
Remember, you don’t have to go through this alone and it’s brave to seek help when you need it. You deserve understanding and support, especially during such a transitional time. I’m here for you and HeartSupport is here for you! I’m sending you strength and peace as you navigate your healing and moving journey! You’ve got this. Keep going. 