I have a plan i guess

[ahhspencer]

another update on my current family situation

so my moms moving pretty soon, and my dad came into my room to talk to me about it. i feel the need to take care of my mom, if she leaves shes gonna be staying with my cousin, and my cousin doesn’t deserve all the stress my mom brings, so my initial plan was to go with my mom to help. see i talked to my dad about this, and we sort of came up with a plan that might work to help my mom in the end? so my mom was screaming at my father, they were having a very big fight and i felt very guilty because it was all my fault, but after that my dad came in and we talked about who ill be staying with. so basically I’m going with my mom, ill tell my cousin everything my mom has done, and her behavior, ill see how my cousin reacts to that, and then ill go back to my dad. my dad told me he’s worried about my safety with my mom, he’s scared for me whenever he leaves me alone with her, and he’s a very responsible parent. id be able to go at first, then come back, and my mom might have this “wow my daughter really left me” type of realization. she listens to my cousin, she doesn’t listen to me but she does listen to my cousin, so if my cousin and i sat down and my cousin told my mom that she needs to get help and stop drinking, I’m almost positive my mom would listen. my dads going to try to get custody of me if this doesn’t work, because like i said he thinks she’s a dangerous parent. so my mom will leave, ill go with, tell my cousin, and then go back to my dad. if she decides she needs help then we’ll be there to support here and help her out when she comes back, but if she doesn’t and shes still got that narcissistic mentality, then my dad will try to get custody and my mom would have to find somewhere else to stay. its too hard to live with here anymore, and it feels like shes more of a responsibility than anything else, I’m more concerned about helping her and making sure I’m responsible in case my mom drinks too much, so other people don’t have to deal with her. its really hard to do, because my dads responsible, and i fear responsibility, which sounds so tacky and stupid but I’ve gotten used to having a very irresponsible parent, it’ll be a big change to have a responsible person in my life.

[Micro]

Hey @ahhspencer,

It sounds that some important changes are going to happen, and I can only imagine how scary it could be to have to think about all of this. As you said, you’ve been used to live in a certain way for a long time, and it’s going to change. But it will be for the best.

You know, what’s going on between your dad and your mom, this situation in your family right now, is not your fault. It probably feels like you’ve been stuck in this storm for months now, but there will be some peace again. You are a loving, caring son, and you’ve been doing the right things.

I am so glad to see that you talked to your dad and he listened to you. Your voice is heard. And I hope with all my heart that the moving and changes in your family will be a good opportunity for your mom to work on her addiction and receive the help she needs, and so that you can, in the long run, have both the relationship that you need and deserve.

You are loved. Sending hugs your way.