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I have a similar experience where I do have SI but I’ve never attempted and so hospitals don’t care which is super frustrating
Oh friend, that is super frustrating! You call for help before you fall over the edge and the world says “you’re okay”. And you say “But I’m teetering on the edge” and the hospital says “but you’re not hurt yet”. Reaching out for help in the first place takes so much strength and effort when we’re hurting so bad. You are definitely deserving of help, worthy of help. Are you connected to a counselor or therapist yet? If not, that may be the next step. You can check with your family doctor for references and a referral. And you are always welcome at Heart Support. https://www.heartsupport.com
You matter.
I’m not sure where you live, or what is available to you. But where I live they have emergency services that handle these kinds of mental health issues if you call them, and they always take it serious and get you to a hospital if needed. I can’t imagine it would be fun to have people dismiss your feelings at the hospital. The people from emergency services in my area always seem to be more empathetic then the people in the ER, but I’ve always gotten where I need to be regardless when I’m honest. I hope you kind find health professionals in the future who care about your needs, and pay attention.