Well ill seperate the update and emotional health. I was going to face homelessness. The 211 didnt work nothing worked except a local church paid 400 of my rent and i owe the 170. I start this Wednesday a new job. And someone a friend who was from a church help get me into this christian organization job warehouse work thats cool and all. Im so grateful
But im tired and heavy is the weight of the world. I got those things im incredibly thankful and happy but i feel so dead inside. Ive felt this always and i thought it was trauma, i thought it was circumstances but nothing has changed the way i felt. Its so easy to wear a mask around people and share good expressions on my face but im hurting im severely depressed and it constantly makes me feel like i dont want to live but i dont do anything about it in that bad way of like losing my life ya know. I live through it and i just want it to change and idk what to do about it. I dont have purpose in life maybe thats what it is.
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Hello @GoldenNuggs42
I’m so sorry that you’re being faced with homelessness and that 211 didn’t work for you. It’s great that the local church you went to helped you with your rent. I hope your landlord let’s you pay the rest of what you owe after you get your first paycheck. It’s great to hear that you have a new job and I hope after a couple paychecks that you will feel more secure and not have to be on the streets.
Being depressed and having no purpose is extremely hard to deal with on our own. Have you tried calling the Behavioral Health Dept for your county? There may be some services or programs that you qualify for that could help you. I can understand that the situation you’re in right now makes you feel like you don’t want to live, but nothing ever stays the same and with having a new job, this might help you in a lot of ways to live a more stable life. I hope everything works out for you, you matter.
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GoldenNuggs42 - Your update sounds wonderful! This sounds like a true opportunity for you to get back on a good path financially. The new job sounds like what you had said you truly wanted in your last post. Congratulations!
As to your update about your mental health - you say you are in recovery. This means that you have and are finding your way to sobriety. That is huge!! What a major accomplishment to be on that road. Are you attending a group program like AA or NA or in any kind of recovery program?
Depression feels like such a dark hole where nothing changes even when everything changes. And learning how to wear a mask to hide the pain becomes second nature doesn’t it? Have you ever talked to your doctor or therapist about your depression? Perhaps even talking to someone from the church where you will be employed could help. None of us should ever try to fight our way through and out of depression alone. It’s a hard journey. I’m glad you’re here and it’s good to know that things are turning around for you. Please keep us updated. I really would love to hear about what resources you have to work with for your depression. You matter and you are loved.
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Im in recovery for a specifc addiction that doesnt require AA or NA But im surrounded by people from AA theres a program but i just dont want to be specific because of the name of the program.