Hi! My name is megan. I am also new to this group. I just happened to come across it by chance. I read your post in an email just now and wanted to write to you. I understand how you feel. Recently, my depression and anxiety have gotten. worse. I have bad insomnia and I feel crappy all day with no energy. The littlest of tasks feels impossible. I have had a couple little health blips in the past few weeks that have contributed. Currently dealing with terrible tooth pain and infection which has made energy levels even worse. But I feel you. Some times I just feel useless, worthless and wonder why anyone even loves me or cares about me. Many days I look in the mirror and do not like myself or what I see. So I get it. I need to work on myself and can’t even find the motivation to start. It’s crazy and upsetting. I’m sorry you are going through this. I pray every day it will change and get better. I know it starts with me but praying helps so I have god to talk to. And then I remind myself that he made me and loves me still not matter how I feel about myself. I remind myself that that evil talk about myself in my mind is not real and that I should talk to myself with love. as if I’m talking to another person in need of positive words. Sometimes I find it helps me to do things for others. Because then I’m not focused on myself so much. Work also helps me to get my mind off things. But I am a server so I have to put up a happy front even when I’m sad. And some times I get anxiety because the spot light is often on me. At least here we have someone to talk to that gets it even if we don’t have solutions for each other. I’m sure you are a very beautiful person inside and out. Don’t let those evil thoughts define you but remind yourself that they are just passing thoughts. You are valuable or you wouldn’t be here. I’m sure many ppl love and cherish you. Though it’s hard to see when you don’t love yourself. I get it. Idk if you are a spiritual person or not but my beliefs and faith are all that gets me through this life. It can be so hard. Maybe try a prayer or a journal. Good luck and hope things turn up for you and for us all. We all deserve better than we give ourselves.
i’m sorry i got to this so late. but i really appreciate you writing to me. everything you said was amazing and so true. hopefully you feel better soon and we can BOTH get passed this