I have no threshold to deal with life

Warped Tour was awesome! However, I felt stressed/anxious the entire time. Not even so much because of the reason I feared (not being good at talking to people; that part was pretty good. For the most part.). But because my body is at a point where it has ZERO threshold for stress. I was stressed about where I’d parked. I was stressed that I was coming off as socially awkward to some of the other Heart Support staff/volunteers. Stressed about finding my way back to my friend’s house. You get the idea. But, overall, it was great! I wish it wasn’t the last Warped Tour. I really loved talking to people about Heart Support!

Like I said. My body has ZERO threshold for stress. Due to this, any LITTLE thing makes me stressed. For example. I am not supposed to use fragrances, per my nutritionist. But, due to when I was trying to finding a place, I didn’t think I’d find ANYONE to live with if I said it had to be totally fragrance free. So I said “natural fragrances”. So, the people I’ve lived with sometimes use a more natural air freshener. (But it still has some toxicity according to the EWG website. However, I’ve bit my tongue the past month with the people I’m living with, cause I’m so grateful I can live here and they’ve been SO GOOD about not using fragrances. This morning, my threshold to deal with anything was gone. I was feeling so depressed/anxious/stressed, I snapped. And by snapped, I don’t mean yelling. I just asked the person I’m living with, when he sprayed it, to close the bathroom door. I probably sounded short with him. I didn’t mean to. But, I’ve not said anything thus far. And, this morning, with not having any threshold to deal with anything, I blurted out what I’d thought for so long. I just said I’m not supposed to used any fragrances. Then he asked if it bothers me. I said a little. Then he said he wouldn’t use it then. I could tell he was taken aback by my reaction and sounded kind of irritated. I don’t blame him. I didn’t mean to come off the way I did. It’s just, I got up feeling like s***, as usual. It just came out. Usually, I just wouldn’t say anything. Now I have to apologize and explain. I feel bad. If I wasn’t so out of it with stress/anxiety, I would have not come off this way. Now I feel like, “What if they don’t want me living with them?”

I used to love eating. Now, I merely eat because I have to. I stopped at Qdoba on my way home from Milwaukee yesterday. I was really hungry. But, after a few bites, I just wanted to stop eating. My body was hungry, but at the same time I had no appetite. I forced my self to eat. Just like I’m forcing myself to eat breakfast right now. The fact that I don’t like eating anymore shows me just how bad things have gotten.

I am just so done with life. I am going to call a natural health practitioner who thinks she can help me with this chronic stress/fatigue/anhedonia. My friend will help me pay for it. I am so, so grateful. But I have this fear I will spend all this money, and what if it doesn’t work? But I’m desperate. She is even giving me a huge discount on her program, cause she knows how much I need help.

I just can’t stop crying now. I can’t live like this anymore. I can’t.

1 Like

Hey @NomadicWanderer,

(Side note: I had Qdoba today too!). I would continue to wait it out for a little longer - I know you were really stressed about Warped, and although it’s different for everyone, for me, after an event I was stressed over, it takes a few days (or a little longer) for me to come back down to peace (while in the meantime working to find peace again via a variety of methods).

This is your anxiety talking. But what if it does work? I think that you’re taking a step in the right direction by being proactive in trying to beat this by seeing a health practitioner. In the meantime, there’s always Lorazepam or Venlafaxine that will help with your anxiety (prescribed by a doctor).

Please keep us updated. We care about you and want to see you get better. You’re strong - remember that.

-Eric

1 Like

Hey there friend!

gigantic hugs I wish there was a easy solution to this situation but there isnt. Have you tried meditation? Getting into the practice of meditating can take some serious time and self discipline but it really helps with anxiety. I’m learning how to control my stress levels and work on my anxiety with meditation.

Find things that help you work out that stress. Another thing I do is I stress bake. Something about beating the crap out of a batch of cookie dough really does wonders on my stress levels and theres the added bonus of a tasty treat at the end. Seeing a natural health practitioner is a great idea. I hope she can help you find a good method for dealing with your mental health. I believe that there is a solution here.

Most of all, talk with you roommates. Explain to them your situation. It sounds like they are more understanding that you think. You may be reading their emotions about the whole situation wrong. Communication is key!

Love you so much friend. You’re wonderful and you’ve been such an encouragement to me!! I hope and pray that you find a way to get a handle on your stress and anxiety. I believe in you!

With much love & hugs,
Bethy - Team Out of the Ashes

1 Like

Hey Nomadicwanderer, I think the ultimate key to stress is finding out how to control it and if need be confront it, I get panic attacks all the times some things I have confronted some I haven’t that set me off. Overall it is tough but the best thing to do is hope for the best I think. Anxiety medicine helps me somewhat, might help, not sure everybody is different. But I pray things work out for you and your stress settles down.

Matthew -Team Out of the Ashes

1 Like