tried to choke myself before i realized id knock myself out and lose my grip, then parents would find out. No one knows and i have no intention of telling therapist
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Hi Ineedhelp1,
There are really two parts to this I want to discuss.
First of all, what is causing you to want to do something like that? I realize that maybe what happened is currently stuck in your head right now, but this is also a space where you can discuss what is getting you to that point, and maybe we can help you see things from a different perspective 
Second, Why do you have no intention of speaking to a therapist? If you break a bone, where do you go? You go and see a doctor. You know that it’s not something you can just handle on your own in a healthy way so you go and see a professional.
Mental health is the exact same. When you’re facing struggles, sometimes you need to go and see a professional for a bit to work through them. I think therapy would be a wonderful place for you to externalize some of the feelings you’re having, and receive some real help to get you through this difficult time.
We’re here for you,
Kiwi
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il die in 70 years anyway so i dont know the point of waiting. everyone thinks im ok and i dont believe in the afterlife so what bad could happen from doing it. even if i told anyone they would say im too young and im overeacting
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There are a couple reasons for why you want to continue living.
Maybe you’ll die in 70 years, maybe it’ll be 90, who knows. The point is that right now, when you’re young, you have a lot of potential. Think of yourself as a ball rolling down a hill. What suicide does is remove all that potential immediately in one go. You never see what’s further along down the track, you never get to experience what life has to offer.
Life at the moment might seem grim, but trust me when I say that things can change. The life I had when I was still is school is literally nothing like the life I have now. I don’t talk to the same people (except for one person), I live thousands of miles away from that location, and very little of what I did there has any impact on me at the current moment.
That’s what I can see now that I’m out the other end of it. The life I had 10,8,4,2 years ago is so drastically different from the life I have now. You can change it, and you CAN get yourself into a better place, which is why it’s not worth it to leave the track before you can see what’s around the next bend right?
I don’t really believe in an afterlife either, which brings up another perspective. If you don’t believe in it, then this is what you’ve got. The life you have now is your opportunity to live and experience all that you can. Yes, there might be bad times, but there are so so so many good times capable in life as well. Why not give yourself the time you’ve been given to experience everything you can to the fullest?
As for overreacting. Yes, I know adults will say that sometimes, and it’s really not fair of them to do so. My recommendation is to go to a trusted adult who you know will do the right thing. Go to a teacher, go to a school guidance counselor. They might be more likely to listen to your story and work to get you help. The important thing is persistence. Communicate with those in your life, and let them know how you’re feeling. Make it obvious that what you’re going through isn’t just a “phase” by showing them, every day, the ups and downs that you feel. It doesn’t have to be drastic, it doesn’t have to be intense, just say “Hey, I’m feeling really bad today because of X” and have a discussion about it.
The most important thing now is that you get in touch with people in your life that can help you. Be true to yourself, and communicate exactly what you feel to others, and find the tools to get yourself to a better place.
Finally, to my first question, what is making you feel this way? Is there something happening in your life right now that makes you think that the rest of life is just “waiting to die”? Is that something you feel comfortable talking about?
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I just want to grow up and do the thing i want to but each day feels longer and that what i want to do will be gone by the time i finally can
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What is it that you want to do?
Days might start to feel longer, but it can go the other way too. Things can change friend, You can get where you want to go, just take it one day at a time and do your best to keep moving forward.
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there is a small town on a beach near where i live, near salem. there is a hotel there i would like to work at. i want a small house near the hotel with a dog. i know i could do it if it was right now but its years away
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That sounds wonderful
Why would you not be able to do it later? I’m sure the hotel will still be there, and if not I’m sure you could find a new hotel near a beach somewhere (or open your own) and have a small house with a dog.
Those all sound like reasonable goals, and I see no reason why you wouldn’t be able to work towards those now, or in the future. Stick with it! See where your dream takes you!
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hi @ineedhelp1,
i have never been in a situation quite like this, but always know that i will be here if you need it. try to think of all the reasons there are to live; simple things like food, pretty clothing, books, friends… the list goes on. think of your future; what is your dream job? where would you like to travel?
also, ask yourself what is making you feel this way, and either work on that, or cut it out of your life. you deserve to be happy. i know you might feel stuck in a dark place, but i promise that in a few years, your life will be completely different.
as for seeing a therapist, i understand that it’s hard to reach out for help. however, a therapist can help you so much. think of your therapist as a friend, just to talk to.
i hope you can work your way out of this, and we are always here for you
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Hey! Sorry for the delay in responding but I’m glad I found you here finally
Kiwi has shared some really great points here, but just to add to it…
I know what it’s like to feel that way, and many times I really wanted to end everything, but I can tell you I’m glad I didn’t. Not only would that hurt those who care for me (and no matter what you think, there are people who care for you even if you don’t feel it) but if I did it… that would mean all those people who drove me to that point had won, and I wasn’t going to let them. The way to win is to hold fast and make it through and show yourself and all those people who doubted you or mocked you or bullied you or whatever is going on in your life… show them they were all wrong with what you can accomplish. The point of life is to experience. The good, the bad, the incredible, the horrible. It’s like saying “why go skydiving”… well, because there’s a good chance it will be amazing! Same for life, friend. Some times are bad, but if you keep trying and keep experiencing you’ll find those breathtaking moments. But you have to be here to see them. Your other option is seeing nothing, right?
On a different note, I’m curious why you chose the name ineedhelp1 when you’re not interested in receiving professional help.
Take care <3
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