I have tried for 30 long years to be rid of these demons I have felt fear on a scale no one should have too dealt with molestation treated like shit by family I kept pushing forward but I finally hit that wall I can’t see myself going further the depression and anxiety have come back worse than ever I can’t control it any more this isn’t life and I’m tired of surviving I just can’t do it anymore I have went over plans before about how I would end it but I finally have a solid plan of action and when the time comes I will finally end this misery permanently I just have no strength left to fight I am ready to die.
I feel you. I feel you so much. I am also at that point, where I think I have given up completely. Currently I am at home, in sick leave after burn out, after my walls fell, all my so well hidden things coming up, and I sometimes see no chance to overcome this ever.
There is a saying, that nothing gives more power for a fresh start, than having lost all before.
So if you have lost all strength, it is ok, not to stand up for a while, to give up fighting for a while and just let things happen as they happen. Just go with the flow of things until you have gained that strength to hold on a branch and think.
your post here is in my opionion that branch you just grabbed. Hold on it.
I’m so sorry you’ve been through so much and struggling for so long. Being here, sharing, allowing yourself to be vulnerable shows how strong you are despite those battles you’ve been facing.
Friend, there is more to live. Good people to meet. Joyful moments to experience. There is more, and you have the right to access to it.
Depression can be so defeating and make us believe in so many lies. Please, know that your life is not over and it doesn’t have to be like a constant battle either. Even when it’s really hard to picture it, there are better ways to move on, healthier ones.
I see you. I hear what you’ve been through. It’s not possible to change what happened, but it is possible to heal and build a brighter future for yourself. You don’t have to do this alone. You have friends right here in this community to support you, encourage you, cheer you up, give you strength when you’re running out of energy. But also to just sit with you in silence when you feel defeated. No judgment. No pressure. Only love.
You are not alone. And this pain won’t permanent, even if it feels like it would.
It’s been a couple of days since you posted. But I hope with all my heart you are safe and taking care of yourself - as much as possible.
You are cared for.
This pain is permanent regardless of what others think it has lasted my whole life and until this point and there is no way to get eradicate it there is only apathy or death left as options I have no friends or family to turn to I have no desire to meet new people only to be used and tossed aside as all people do I sit in darkness surrounded by my demons for comfort there is no hope left in me and life itself has and will always be pointless love does no exsist and no matter how hard people fight against their fate they will only meet with failure.