I hope this year is different @Kitboga

I lost my partner to mental health when we were 17, It’s been 11 years and I’ve got to the point in my life where I’m not as numb as I used to be on anniversaries, certain triggers, but unfortunately each Christmas I still struggle the most with the past, as we used to spend it together always. I was wondering if you have any advice on how to tame this kind of inner struggle between the happy memories of the past and the reality of them not being there in the present anymore.

  • As a side note thank you Kit, Your streams have helped my nights greatly this year.
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Hey there,
Not the same, but I lost a good friend who I viewed as a little sister to a drug overdose years ago. I think of her often, and just when I think I’ve gotten over some of the old triggers, new ones pop up. I’m not sure how to bridge the gap between wanting to celebrate the happy times without introducing those feelings of grief. I hope you can wake up on Christmas, indulge in some of those memories, have a cry if you need to, and ultimately enjoy your day. <3
Thinking of you.

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hi there,

Could you do something like plant a tree during this tough period, and use it as a representation of the good times. As it grows, you can then sit with the tree, dress it up when you need to do something tangible with your love and affection for that person. Like a memorial that grows with you, and is a visual reminder and tribute.

You could also do something charitable, as much as is financially feasible for you, and do it in their memory. It can change year to year as you see the need for helping someone, that way you get to do something for them that creates new positive memories that’s rooted in your love for them.

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Thank you so much <3

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