I’m starting to think that I just can’t be happy. I was anxious because I couldn’t find work, now I have a job. I was upset because I was lonely, now I have friends and family closer than ever. I was anxious because I couldn’t get into school, now I’m in school. But I’m not happier. Sometimes I just wake up and nothing is really wrong but I feel awful. It’s hard to get up or do anything. I’m starting to think it’s just part of me and there is nothing I can do about it. Some days I’m just not compelled by life at all. Stuff o really cared about I don’t care at all about anymore. I don’t know how to talk to people in my life about it because it’s not like a tangible fixable problem. I’m honestly really worried.
Sounds like you have a lot of really good things surrounding you! And that’s really good! It’s important to take a moment to reflect all of the good things you have in your life and allow those things to be strengths, motivation and positive energy.
But I also understand. Because right now I am in the happiest relationship I have been in. As well as the healthiest. I don’t have a lot of friends but the few I do have are good friends. And I may not have a relationship with my family but my boyfriend’s family are so good to me! I’m in a happier place than I’ve been in my entire adult life, yet like you, I find myself struggling with depression and sadness often. I mean, I know what’s feeding it and I’m currently seeking professional guidance to work through it.
But in the mean time, something that helps me is working on things I enjoy. I’m a creative. Art is my passion. I love trying new mediums. So I’ve been playing and experimenting with acrylics and then trying something totally new by working with perler beads.
Is there something that you are passionate about or enjoy doing? Photography? Art? Writing? Paper crafts. Anything. Do you enjoy board and card games? Do you enjoy playing D&D? What things bring you happiness. Sounds like you may need some of that in your life. Room for things that make you feel good.
Another source of healthy energy is going to the gym! Yoga! Zumba! Rock climbing! Meditation! Any of these things can be a really healthy way of channeling energy both for exercise and refreshing your mind.
Are there any clubs or groups that you can join that would be enjoyable to you?
Local cafes or coffee shops with open mic to go listen and discover music? Or small music Venus where local artists play? Usually door tickets to get in are anywhere from from free to $10. Sometimes more but usually the small Venus are super cheap! Maybe something like that is around?
I’m sorry you are having a hard time my friend. I hope you are able to find something that brings you peace and fulfillment. You are important and valued.
I totally understand what you are feeling. When I was first diagnosed with depression, everything in my life was going great. I had a boyfriend, lots of friends, a loving family, I got good grades and was on the dance team and for some reason I still felt anxious and sad and I couldn’t explain it. Sometimes depression and anxiety happen for no reason and just come out of no where. That doesn’t mean there is something wrong with you! This is just something that you have to work through! For me what really helped was seeing a doctor and a therapist. I also really poured myself into music and started journaling about what I was feeling. Sending love!