I just cant anymore- my mental state is horrible

ok so im just going to start this off with some things eating me up right now… I truly do have nothing but anger towards my mom and stepdad, im 18yrs old and they dont let me do anything a 18yr old SHOULD be able to do- i cant go anywhere with friends unless there is an adult (they have met) present, i cant drive with friends, i cant have my phone for more than a few hours a day (4-5 hrs) they dont treat me with the respect a 18yr should be treated with, i have just graduated highschool yet this still happens, they dont let me take ownership of my phone when i have told them i want to pay for it myself multiple time over and over again, i have not been in contact with my ex girlfriend for awhile since i have finally gotten over her, im in a loving happy relationship now, but i still see her on social media liking the same things that are on my feed and i dont know i just feel really weird for liking something on social media that we both like? i dont know if that is common but i feel like i should block her but i dont want to be rude and she recently liked my post i made during my graduation. I struggle with suicidal thoughts but i dont have the will power to do anything that will actually take my life, i just feel like there are only a handful of people in my life who truly help me and give me the love and acceptance i need and they are some close friends, my Gf, and my dad. I’ve taken to songwriting to try and help and surprisingly it does if even only by a little. i just feel like im kept under lock and key by my mother and step dad and i just cant do this anymore… i just want to disappear sometimes in truth… there is also the issue of college, throughout the college acceptance process i feel like everything is piling on and on especially since by this year June 1st i need to have 8 community hrs.’ to still be qualified for my 0 dollar community college fee (which i haven’t started) plus with working a part time job this is even more stressful. i don’t know if something is just wrong with me or what- i want to feel better i want to be better but things rarely succeed for me and it just gets tougher and tougher. i wish i knew what i did wrong in life for all of this to happen to me


Hey Mist,
EsRivs responded to your post live on YouTube today!
Here is the video so you can watch and hear their reply to you!


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