I just can't see it

I’ve been out of work since June because the company I worked for went bankrupt. Since then I’ve let myself go to the point where I can’t walk or do many everyday things without pain. Every interview I’ve been to hasn’t worked out, and it seems like on top of that people want to slander me on social media.

Other people the people I call my friends keep telling that I’m amazing. They say I have a big heart and that makes me great because I’m always trying to help people despite being in a pretty abysmal place myself.

I can’t see it.

I don’t know what it is that people see in me that makes them think I’m a good person. I don’t feel like I’m worthy of the time it takes people to think about me at this point, or the words they say to me. It all sounds hollow because I feel like everyone would be better off without be hanging around like an anchor.

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Hey friend! It sounds like you’re going through a tough time right now. I can tell that your friends really love you and care about you because of the incredible things they say about you. I hope you know that those amazing things they are saying about you are the truth and the negative thoughts filling your mind those are lies. You are kind. You have valuable. You WILL get through this. It’s awesome that you are applying for jobs and trying to get back on your feet! I hope you continue to do that. I also would encourage you to make sure you are taking care of yourself, that always helps me feel better about my circumstances. Praying for you friend!

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Hey, I get it. People tell me I’m sweet, but honestly I feel like a bitch sometimes.
Sometimes we are wandering, not completely lost, and we can’t see ourselves clearly. If you trust the people around you, trust what they say. Believe them, because they care about you.
Those people on social media dont know a goddamn thing about you. You are not alone; every time you feel your pain or see a social media comment that’s awful, remember, you are more than that. I’m telling you now, so believe me. Don’t give up <3

We are young and we are strong.
_Through strength in self we become.
Something more than they can be.
I raise my heart 'n say

That I won’t believe this lie
I know there’s something more inside
When darkness is all you see
This is our sweet blasphemy

Sweet Blasphemy - Black Veil Brides

People have a tendency to want us to feel good about ourselves. So we should take what they say (even if they’re our friends) with a grain of salt.

Yet if these friends want to hangout, talk with you & be around you when they aren’t working, with their love ones or try to console you when you’re going through hard times. These people then you should listen to them. (If not then they’re just being cordial.)

Be strong. (We are our own worst enemies & critics of ourselves.)