I just couldn’t die

I’m 27 an orphan jobless helpless devastated
Feeling like my death is nearby me
I wonder how am I alive till this date


I am sorry that you are having a hard time. You know life sometimes is hard and cruel but because of this moment we become stronger. So please dont stop searching for job and fighting for you​:raised_hands::raised_hands:.

Welcome to the community and if you need to talk you know that we are here​:raised_hands::raised_hands: Take care :heart:

1 Like


Hey friend,

It sounds that you’ve been carrying a lot on your shoulders for a long time. So thank you for being here. :heart:

Do you want to share a little bit about your story? About what makes you feel like this?
You mentioned being devastated, helpless, jobless. But I suppose you didn’t feel that way all the time. And I’m sorry you don’t have a job for the moment. I understand how stressful it is to be in this situation and to search for a job. Like navigating in an ocean of uncertainty, waiting for the right opportunity to happen… Just know that this situation doesn’t define you. I’m rooting for you.

You are not alone. This community is here for you. To listen, to support you as much as possible.
Death isn’t nearby, but how you feel is absolutely valid.

This situation you’re in nor the feelings that you have are not meant to last. It’s a matter of circumstances right now, and circumstances always change.
I am glad you are alive and glad you are here. You’ve been really strong. :heart:

Hang in there.

1 Like

Never thought but wanted to share my awful story with unknown people Hope anyone can guess the reason
When I was 2.5 years old my mother left me and my dad was in prison in Thailand for drug trafficking
After few time my biological mother came back to get me and my sibling but my grandparents didn’t let her
We’re poor and big family with three aunts one uncle my sibling grandma and awful life
There are some blur memories of my mother that still makes me cry and break my heart
I think if I was son she’d never left me
My childhood went through scarcity of food love care
Still I remember each and every discrimination and hunger
I don’t blame my grandma because she was helpless too
Last dec on my birthday my grandpa passed away
He left me with some blur memories too
Time by time I’m asking him Shall I walk the same way and end this pathetic life
Had so many relationships
My first love cheated on me and I started to do so
Many broke my heart dreams and I did it too
When though some unimaginable situation and still shivers me
Without support love career I wonder how I was able to drag this life till this day
Now I’m staying with my married sibling
I spend all my savings from last Job in the search of me job opportunity in abroad
My sibling says that I’m not burden for her but I know what I’m being
Right now I’m in abroad far from my country
I’m planning to suicide when I’ll be back
Most of the time I’m planning how and where I could
My existence doesn’t matter to anyone
even I’m willing to give up
When my grandpa passed away I’ve seen those known people
Same thing gonna happen when I’m gone
I’m gonna sell my stuffs and buy enough drugs to make my eyes shut
I’m confused where I could do it
I don’t want anyone to find my dead body
I think I’m gonna cry for myself before I do this
I’m gonna share something on this site after few times that I hid from everyone I know
And thank you for your kinds words that’s breaking my tears right now
I know kind soul exist too but my world is so small to find so…


Hey friend,

I hear you. Thank you so much for sharing about all of this. You’ve been through a lot since you were just a kid and I’m so sorry you had to grow up in this kind of environment. I’m sorry for the losses you’ve been through, your grandpa, but also your relationships.

You’re existence matters. Despite all the things you’ve been through, you are still here. And you’ve been so strong. But you still have a lot to process, to grieve. So please keep reaching out. I don’t want you to disappear. Your sibling either. I know it’s hard to believe others when they tell you that you’re not a burden while you feel you are. But you can trust them. If they say that, then it means they’re willing to be there for you, to support you. It means they love you. Hang on to that love.

Our stories are obviously different. But I’ve seen and experienced violence coming from others, from strangers but also from those who were supposed to love and protect me while I needed it. You are right, this world is not only composed by that kind of person, by violence nor harm. Maybe your world feels really small right now. Maybe you even feel really stuck in it. But you are here, you are alive and there is hope for you. I spent so many time losing hope, hurting myself and drowing in despair. I understand how it feels to be at the edge of giving up, to actually think about how and when. But I really want you to give up on this idea. Brighter days are not behind you. It’s not too late. Your existence matters. You matter.

This community has been helping me in a very tough season of my life. I can only hope for you to find the same love and kindness I have found here. You’re part of this family now. And if you want to join on Discord, feel free to do so: https://discord.gg/V2pY7g You are not alone, okay? You are loved. You are needed.

Sorry for the tears, even though I know it’s not a bad thing. Sending much love to you. :heart: