I just do not know

I am having the roughest time in my life. I thought college was doable but I just keep getting caught in this rut of “failure.” I mean this semester has been better but there is one class I am underperforming in because I missed the class due to some sickness. Apart from that my mental health has been on a weird decline. I am happy for one minute then the next I just get overwhelmed and want to cry. Being 20, life is starting off as a roller coaster and I still do not even know what I want to do with it. I am just confused…


Hi @McDougyy Welcome!

I’m glad you found us!

I’m really sorry that you’re having some hard times in college. Have you thought about asking your teacher for some make up assignments or talk about how you can catch up? I’m sure they will understand because you were ill.

Most colleges have Campus Services which offers a lot of difference resources and help for students. Counseling is one and it sounds like you need a little help coping with life right now.

It’s ok to ask for help, you don’t have to do it all alone. :hrtlegolove:

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Hey there,

I’m so sorry things have bene so rough lately! Do you have an academic advisor or a counselor who can help you cope a bit better?
It can be hard when studies get tougher, and when you’re struggling in a class. Hang in there, friend, reach out to others and share your feelings and the stress with someone!

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From: Lisalovesfeathers (Discord)

Hey McDougyy Welcome to HeartSupport I am Lisa and Thank you for posting here and I hope that we can give you a little support here. It sounds like you are really struggling at the moment, and I am so sorry to hear that. The first thing I would like to say is that its ok to not know what you want to do with your life at the age of 20, you have so many years ahead and its no always a done deal to know exactly what you want, maybe you have not found your passion yet and that is ok. You missed a class because you were unwell and that is unfortunate and something you cannot control, that does not make you a failure its just unlucky, is there any possibility of re doing that class if its important to you? I would really love you to talk to someone about how you are feeling to talk about how overwhelmed you are. Are your parents supportive and open to talk to? I think if you were to let people know how you felt they could help you to get straight and make some decisions which in turn would leave you open to move forward and you would then have a clearer head to think about your future. You are at an age that is not an easy time but it is also a time when there are new beginnings and exciting times ahead with so many things to look forward to and you deserve to experience all of them. Much love Lisa

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From: eloquentpetrichor (Discord)

Hello, McDougyy. I hope you find support here and continue posting during this difficult time in life. I wish I had had a place to find support when I was going through similar struggles a decade ago. In High School college seems so simple. Just more school. But then you get there and it just kicks you more than you realise. But it isn’t because you are a failure. Far from it. It is harder than people make it out to seem. Even if you end up failing this class you are not a failure. I promise you that. I failed more classes in college than I care to even tabulate but I never stopped fighting and I graduated and I have faith you will too. I suggest talking to your teacher in the class you are struggling in. Explain you were sick and ask if you can do extra credit or anything to help your grade. Most professors really do want to help and they are usually very happy to have students actually utilise office hours. And I also suggest talking to your advisor (or whatever your school has) about it. Their job is to help you succeed in college and life. And they can help you find school counselors and resources to help with your mental health as well if you want that. I did not utilise my uni’s resources as much as I should have and if I could go back I would do those things to help me succeed better in college. Those are some of the changes I would make if I had my current knowledge and experience when I was 19/20 years old and just starting to struggle. I hope some of my past can help your present. I wish you the best of luck and you are not a failure. No matter what. Roller coasters can be fun. Throw your hands up and enjoy the ride. <3


Hello, fellow newbie. :slightly_smiling_face:
Sorry to hear that you’re having a tough time, but glad you not only found this community but that you decided to open up to us.
20 years old, huh!!! I remember those days…they were tough for me too! It’s just the beginning of ‘adulthood’…our brain hasn’t even finished developing and we gotta get our life on track!
We’re searching for who we are, what we want in life, We’re discovering new things about ourselves and about life, we have more responsibilities and more important responsibilities, so on and so on.
There’s so much pressure for us to perform at school, at work, to be responsible in general, everything seems to be coming at us from every angle!

As far as your mental health, do you have anyone that you can speak with, I mean on a professional level? That could be really helpful to speak with someone who can give you advice, someone with no emotional ties, someone who you can open up to and not feel that maybe you can’t tell them everything because you don’t want to disappoint them, so on and so on?

I know and truly understand that life is not easy at this age.
However,…they don’t stay this way.
Do the best you can, make sure you get enough sleep, eat well, get some exercise (even if it’s just a walk), it’s good for our heart and…it’s also good for our soul.

Wishing you all the best.
And don’t forget…it will get better, it just takes a little time. :slightly_smiling_face:

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