My mental health has been really poor for the last year or so, more so especially in the last 3-6 months.
I’ve been really struggling horrendous low mood, lack of motivation and finding absolutely no enjoyment out of life. The worst of which are the suicidal thoughts; to the point that I planned and attempted to take my own life recently.
I failed but was more positive after, but in the last couple of days I’ve been feeling far more suicidal to the point that I’m actually more then just considering taking my life again; this time making sure my attempt is permanent.
My main problem is that I’ve already sought out help from medical professionals including several doctors; who have been absolutely unhelpful; all extremely condescending and uninterested.
It seems the only way that I can actually receive any help is to actually be taken into hospital on an attempt on my own life.
I’ve tried all the recommendations but nothing seems to help at all, no matter where I turn or try to effect the way I think there is always an obstacle of truth that can’t be just thought away.
I don’t want to go too in detail about my life but it’s awful and there is little I can do to improve my situation. Believe me I’ve tried.
I have very little support from family and friends.
People do not want to deal with me.
I purposely left my girlfriend so that if I do take my life she doesn’t blame herself if I do.
So basically I’m alone with my problems.
I really wanted to just write all this down and hope that it might make the slightest of difference and that I won’t just take my life in due course; I guess we will see soon.