I just don't understand my mom

All she does is yell at me and criticize me every single second. I love my mom but there are just some times she makes me so angry but I have to bottle everything up. There are some times I understand where I’m in the wrong, but why is it always me, it that just an automatic rule, that parents are always right? I’m always blamed and scolded for doing something incorrectly when I wasn’t even done yet when I try to explain myself I just end up getting yelled at again. When I try to confront my mom, she just gets angry at me and continues to lecture about how she is cooking all day, while I do nothing and act like a spoiled brat. Yet if I try to help her in something, she just yells at me to go away and that I’m disturbing her. The moment I go sit down she yells at me and questions why I’m not doing the work if I know how to do it. I really love my mom but sometimes I question whether or not she truly loves me.


Hey @mruser

You know, when I was growing up, I felt like this all of the time. I lived in a very broken home with a lot of toxicity around me. There was so much going on and I constantly felt like I wasn’t allowed to express myself. Trying to confront the things that were going on that were obviously not okay, always resulted in me being scolded and told how disrespectful I was for opening my mouth. It’s really hard. I know what it’s like to feel like as the “child” that you are automatically wrong because the parents are the adults.

But I want you to know that you deserve to be heard. You deserve to express yourself. Your feelings are valid and they are important. I’m sorry that you have been left to feel like what you say doesn’t matter or shouldn’t be said, but here you are always welcome to share your heart.

Here is a link to our discord:

You are always welcome to come hang out with us. There is a general chat that you can just hang and be a part of the community and there is also a real talk channel where you can open up and share as you can on this forum.

Do you enjoy coloring at all? One of the HeartSupport guys has been putting together a bunch of line art pieces and setting them up so people can download them and color. The community has been joining him in donating line art for people. They are free to download. You can find that in his discord here:

You are always welcome to be a part of our community <3 The guys Dan and Casey stream on their heart support channels through out the week. (not on the weekends, so there won’t be any for a couple days) You should come and hang out with us if you haven’t already. Sometimes just hanging together in stream and talking with the community really helps lower stress.

I’m sure you’re mom loves you, friend. Sounds like you guys just have a hard time with communication sometimes. Is it possible to pull her aside and just have a calm respectful talk? And just share how you have been feeling? Do it when you are calm so the conversation isn’t heated. And see if there is maybe a way you guys can better your relationship.

I sincerely hope that things get better. I know things are hard right now. Sending you love.

  • Kitty
1 Like

Hi @mruser,

Of course parents are not always right. They’re just humans. They have their strenghts and their weaknesses. They have their own limits, areas of discomfort, like everyone. And as we grow up we realize that our parents are not perfect. Which is okay and absolutely normal.

But I’m sorry your relationship with your mom is so difficult right now. I’m sorry it gets to the point of wondering if she loves you or not. It shouldn’t be like this. Despite the fact that we can’t be okay with someone all the time, it shouldn’t be to the extent of questioning the love between you two.

It sounds that you don’t have a lot of space to express yourself. Your mom sounds to be very judging and unsatisfied, no matter what you do. I understand that feeling, as I grew up with a mom who was more destructive than loving. But also, I know that, objectively, we didn’t have a possibility to communicate at the moment, because she was deeply struggling with her own mental health. So, maybe this is a silly question, but did you try to talk with your mom, honestly, about all of this and how it makes you feel? In a calm and respectful way, out of any confrontation, and not as a reaction to something she could say to you.

I’m really echoing our dear friend @anon17277947 here. Because sometimes our relationships with others can escalate quickly and we lose from our sight the very importance of communication and vulnerability. You don’t have to bottle everything up. So I hope, with all my heart, that there is this room for an honest communication between you two, especially during this quarantine situation, when we can be easily nervous and frustrated. But if this is not a valid possibility, know that you have a family right here in this community and you are always welcome to share, discuss or even vent if needed. You are loved for who you are, no matter what. And you are not alone.