TW: Depression, Suicidal
Hi
This is just a little vent and an update on what has been going on in life. I Just feel empty. Nothing interests me anymore. I just dont care about future. I feel numb empty and tired almost all the time. When i was hopeless and sad i felt something but now i just exist. I am still thinking about suicide but i dont have the will the energy the pain and the sadness to even come up with a plan. I am currently being medicated on a new antidepressant and it has helped me with being hopeless and sad and angry but it sure didnt give me reason to live or helped me experience joy and excitement. I just exist and i dont know why. I may not feel like dying but I dont feel like living either.
Thanks for reading. Hope you have a nice day.
Bye.
Give the new medication some time to work. Depression can make you feel tired. Being tired can make you feel depressed. Being tired and depressed reinforces negative thought patterns. It’s even possible to become depressed about being depressed.
Feeling numb is a defense mechanism. What would need to change in your life in order to feel that you no longer need to feel numb?
I’ve asked myself the same question time and time again. Why care about doing well in school, doing well at work if I don’t care about my future, and I don’t want one? And the answer is I don’t know. I wish I had an answer for you!
But unfortunately my response is less of a “I have support” and more of you’re not alone in the way you’re feeling, and you’re definitely not crazy.
I would tell you try to find things that you enjoy, but I know it’s hard! So keep fighting my friend and hold fast! You’re loved and you matter.