I just feel like dying

Sometimes I feel like I just want to die, wake that I don’t fit in and no one likes me. And yes this may be the year where I have the most friends I’ve ever had, but I feel so much emptier. I was a little suicidal in six grade but that was only a small amount. And I’ve been having these thoughts a lot lately. There’s been so much more fun figuring out about myself, and even School is getting harder. I had my first crush, we dated for 3 days then had a break up because of her mom. And now I feel empty, like there’s nothing for me. I mean I still haven’t gotten over her. Even though we are still friends. Also my parents being disappointed in me. And I have to get this for my parents and that makes it harder. So now I’m just a swirling ball of anxiety and emptiness, but I’m happy friend so I have to smile and pretend to be happy. My friends do make me happy, but When I leave them I just break down not in front of people but alone by myself and not many people know this, well lotta people know this now obviously. An then I found this and thought it would help, hopefully it does or I might act on these thoughts.

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Hey there, I’ve been there multiple times. I can recall the earliest form of suicidal thoughts in sixth grade. I shrugged them off because I thought, “I’d come too far in life.” Those thoughts resurfaced, only more sinister and malicious in the spring of my second attempt at freshman year. I was bullied a lot more in high school where no one paid attention to me. My sophomore year, the bullying got even more intense. I resorted to self-harm and after my first ever party, alcohol abuse. I ended up switching schools to a new one across the country. I just wanted to let you know, that I’m here because I’ve been in these shoes before. There’s always support:heart:


Feeling that nobody likes you is definitely relatable. If you’re comfortable, you might be able to tell one of your friends how you’ve been feeling. It’s okay to let someone you trust see that side of you. It’s also okay if you’re not ready right now.
If it means anything, the people in this community love and support you through the hard times. School years can be rough times emotionally and mentally, but you don’t have to go it alone.