@Kitboga
How do you deal with feeling stuck in life? I’ve felt this way for the past year and a half and I cannot seem to break this cycle no matter how hard I try. I’ve struggled with depression for as long as I can remember, but it’s never seemed to have been this bad. I was still always able to make progress in life, go out to places, be with friends often, etc. but this time I feel like I’m just completely frozen. I try to do the typical “baby steps” thing and take things day by day, but after not long I always end up back at square one and it’s very discouraging. I feel as though I’ll be like this for the rest of my life, that I’ll never be able to amount to anything and/or be successful and able to live a fulfilling life. Does Kit or anyone else have any kind of advice or insight?
Thanks!
#kitboga
Hey @brenndough,
Thank you so much for reaching out here and taking the time to share all of this.
I have to say, your whole post is very very relatable to me. I am clinically depressed, and since I’ve been unemployed right before covid started (+ the lockdowns), I’ve been feeling stuck. Just like running into the same circles over and over. So I don’t know if that could be of any comfort to you, but I wanted to say that you really are not alone in feeling that way. I think it’s actuallly common when we are depressed, because as you have described it tends to feel like going through the same process until depression hits again.
Focusing on baby steps is really important. It’s good that you keep that mindset and don’t try to overwhelm yourself with too many things to do at once, as it would have the effect of freezing you even more. On a different scale, I would love to hear what are the more “major” goals you would like to aim for. The baby steps are there to reach something bigger eventually. They prepare a solid ground for something that would be more tied to life goals. What are yours, friend?
Depression, when explored individually, is often there as the manifestation that something isn’t working in our life, that we need something that drives us a little more, that changes need to happen - so we stop feeling stuck over and over. If you imagine yourself without this depression, who would you be? What would you do? To me personally, I would live in a different place with my partner. I would have a cat. I would work a part-time job and complete with an independant one. I would surely do more of my hobbies - drawing, crochet, photo. I would exercise more regularly, even consider taking dance lessons again. I would travel a little more. I would try to open my own online shop as a personal hobby.
What is your spark made of? There is something to explore there and connect yourself with again. Something vibrant that nurtures you. Don’t be afraid of just letting it all out, even if a part of your mind tries to convince you that it’s stupid or you’ll never get there. The first step is to clearly identify what’s on your heart. The practical obstacles, fears and doubts are only obstacles that we learn to overcome later on.
On a different note, you don’t have to explore all of this just by yourself. If you feel stuck, it might be a sign to consider in order to get some professional help if that’s not the case already. I’ve personally pushed that away for a very, very long time while I needed both therapy and medications in order to make the cycles less draining, more manageable. Then we don’t always see the progress while being in the middle of those cycles. But in the long run, we see that we become more and more equipped to ride the depressive episodes, so it affects us less, and less longer.
I’m sending love your way. 
Hiya @brenndough Thank you so much for posting, hopefully kit will have some words of wisdom for you, you have had the best already from the amazing Micro, I just wanted to echo those words really especially as the time frame you mentioned is very telling.
From what you have said
This has happened over the last year and a half? You have kind of been frozen for all of that time, you have been practically shut in with little access to the things and people that you use to help make progress in your life. It is discouraging and I am so sorry you are struggling so much with this, I want you to know that you are not alone brenndough and this period of time is not what defines your life. Its a horrid situation that is having a negative effect on you and its being made worse by the fact that you have struggled with depression and that sucks.
I know you come on Kits channel, why not come on HS streams and chat to us, be great to see you. Please just remember Brenndough you have already amounted to so much, you are a beautiful human being that brings light and love to kits chat and many smiles too. You are loved and of course you matter.
Much Love
Lisa 
having a clear plan, and then breaking it up into the tiniest tiniest steps can help. Large scale goals are terrifying and paralysing sometimes, and it’s easy to not get them.
What does your square one look like? Maybe you could tell us about that, and we can brainstorm how else you can change your perspective of step one to make it more positive, and see how we can get to step 1.5.
glad to see you here friend!
Hey @brenndough,
Maybe I’ll get a chance to talk about this tonight on stream but wanted to at least respond quick to say you’re not alone and I’ve been in similar spots before too. It can be hard to judge “progress” because it depends on what the target is. Something I’ve tried to do that may help is do my best to compare myself to who I was a few weeks ago / a few years ago. Those “baby steps” can look huge when you put them in perspective!
Oh my dear friend,
I know struggled with this past year & what helped me was explore to find out what I am passionate about. I love helping others no matter where they are in life, but I didn’t know what that looked like…recently, I discovered that I have a passion for teaching and helping young people learn about the world about them as well as living and thriving in the world around them.
Was it difficult at times? Yes. Is it worth it? Also yes.
I challenge you to find something you are passionate about or find the “look” of a current passion. You are an amazing person & I know you are made for great things. You are wonderful. You are valid. You are strong. You are capable. You are enough. You are loved. 
I’ve dealt with clinical depression for decades and there are many years at a time that feel hopeless. I’m currently at a good patch where I’ve learned what works for my own mental health and not anyone else’s. Finding what makes you happy or gives you a purpose can really help. Sometimes that means giving yourself a break and sometimes it means keeping yourself busy either with your hands or in your mind. Learning a new skill or hobbie or just taking time to write down your feelings. Never give up on the search for what gives you peace. You can find that.
Gosh I relate to this so much. I ‘had’ to get back on antidepressants last month. I felt like a failure-- going to the doctor and saying that I was depressed. But I felt not just stuck, but like I was going downward. I just didn’t want to be here, and I didn’t want to feel like that. I had a year of disappointments, people lying to me, feeling like I was stuck in a job that I didn’t want to be in. I don’t even know what “happy” feels like anymore. Have you ever done the thing where you smile, and it kinda scares you? Like it’s been so long, you don’t recognize it? I don’t have answers friend. Just wanted to let you know that you are not alone. We deserve to be happy. I hope we find it.
I feel this, it’s hard to care about yourself and care about doing things when going through depression. What I do is tell myself “Get up, and get going you need to take care of yourself, you’re going to do this evening you dont want to”
If these things you’ve tried and dont help, do you have a therapist or medications you can take to get better?
Just wanted to post to remind you you’re not alone ^~^ you’re okay and you’re going to get through this, and if you feel like you can’t, dont be scared about about going to others for support, we’re a community as a whole, we have to help eachoher to thrive 
No one should be suffering alone,
-X
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