I just feel stupid

I posted on here a few days ago on an entirely different topic. But now I just need to get out what I’ve been feeling for the past few weeks.
I just feel like an idiot around everyone, and the anxiety and the self-doubt is so much. I’m so awkward and I feel like I cant learn anything about how to behave, what to say and how to act in these situations. It seems like everyone else knows. I just feel like a complete moron with zero self-confidence. I’m starting high school next week as a freshman, and I fear of being bullied again. I dont want to appear weak and lacking all this. Please give me advice

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Hi there Bvblover16! ( ´ ▽ ` )ノ

Congratulations on starting high school next week! Starting high school can be both exciting and really scary (especially when you’ve been bullied in the past. I’m so sorry about that. :cry:)
I totally understand what you’re feeling.

Honestly? Even as you get older and into adulthood sometimes it can still feel like everyone else has everything put together and…you still feel like an anxious weird mess.
A lot of people say “fake it till you make it” and that works to a degree. I think we’re all faking it till we make it to be honest LOL. And realising that has helped me feel a lot better about my own awkward anxiousness.

One thing to help with your self-confidence is find a hobby that helps empower you and builds your self-confidence! Also, try and surround yourself with people who have the attitude you want - confident, positive, etc. Join some clubs and activities that interest you too! Doing that is a fun way to help you get more comfortable in social scenarios.

For me personally, one thing that helps me deal with feeling like a blubbering fool is that if I do make a mistake in my speech, or feel anxious, I acknowledge it to whoever I’m with/speaking to and just make a fun joke out of it. I basically just “own it” which helps me empower myself instead of allowing my anxiety to hold power over me.

Another thing that’s helped me when I’m not feeling so self-confident is that I write letters and notes of encouragement to myself. I especially try to do this on days where I’m feeling on top of the world.

That way, when I’m having a low day I can look through these notes and get encouragement from a past version of myself that felt good and confident. And it reminds me that if I felt that way about myself before, then I’ll be able to feel that way again in the future.
And I know it’s super hard to say or think of nice things about yourself sometimes, but it’s such a vital thing to do.

Also, positive role models! I like to keep and write quotes from people who I admire. Their strength and courage help me to build back up my “confidence bank” when I’m feeling low.

I hope some of that helps you! You’re totally going to rock it! :sparkling_heart:



Thank you for replying Deer, it means a lot to me

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Hi @Bvblover16,
High school was a while ago for me, but I remember being confused and terrified and having doubts about myself. I was teased and bullied about various things, and since you ask I will give you two pieces of advice. If it doesn’t apply, I still want you to know I believe in you and want to see you succeed and be content. You can always post or vent when you want or need to.

First of all, I found out I could be an avatar of perfection itself and certain people will still find things to pick on and criticize. The problem lies with them. I don’t understand them but it helps to realize it’s not me, or you. Second, I learned to ask “Why on earth should I care about your opinion?” Bullies use the leverage of hitting our self-doubts, but since they are never going to be satisfied anyway, why give any credit to what they say? This probably sounds like “ignore them and they will go away” but I can’t promise that will happen, and I don’t want you to even grant them the validity that ignoring them would require.

Anyway, I want you to know that you are loved and valuable. It’s so easy to think ‘but what if they’re right?’ when people pick on something you already worry about. They need to mind their own business instead of bothering you. If it does happen to be someone whose opinion you do care about, it still doesn’t make it true. You can respect them and still think critically about what they say.

I believe in you.

You are so welcome!

Starting high school is such a big life change and it can be scary.
But you can do it! :sparkling_heart:

I’m glad you can feel you can keep coming back to the wall @Bvblover16 <3
Not everyone handles social situations the same way, I have to talk with people I trust before I go into any situations to plan how the day will look. Maybe you can plan out how your first day is going to look? What do you need to get ready the night before? What time do you have to be where for your first class? What are you going to do during your breaks? Just break it into small questions - there will be people in the exact same boat as you and you will find yourself drifting towards them, that’s okay - you can get through that with them.

Hold Fast