I just need a friend

I tried texting but it said it wouldn’t post. I have a friend who is my only friend and she lives in California and I’m in Pennsylvania. We’ve been friends for 5 years. Lately she has been so distant. She does this when she gets depressed. Recently our little life check ins have stopped. I’m doing all the work. I’m not saying that she has to text me all the time but at least respect me. I just miss her so much it hurts.

Hey friend, I’m on staff here with HeartSupport and was able to see your message – I’m not sure if you were still wanting to receive encouragement, but I wanted to let you know that it really sucks when the people we love ghost us…to feel like you’re pouring all you have into this relationship and like nothing comes back, it’s one of the most brutal types of rejection because you’er putting your whole self on the line…it’s not like it’s someone who doesn’t know you, it’s someone who does, and that makes the pain even worse because they know you and it feels like they are choosing to reject you, and that can be so brutal. I remember losing so many friends to this slow fading like you’re talking about, and I hated feeling like no one cared. I hated feeling like something was wrong with me…in fact, I had a group of friends who kept hanging with each other and just ousted me because they said I was “too much”. Gosh dude that was a dagger to the heart…

But here’s what I discovered…at the end of the day even if people stopped liking me, it didn’t mean that I had to conclude that I was worth less because of how they felt. I learned that I could still accept and love myself and find new friends who would too. I realized that everyone else has experienced some rejection like I had and that I wasn’t alone…and that gave me a lot of comfort knowing that everyone experiences it, and there’s hope for things to get better.

I want you to know that hope too. You are not alone, friend. Thank you for sharing here, and I hope you find that love for yourself soon too.

-Nate

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Hi thank you for this. Oh I do love myself. I’m loosing a lot of people lately because of it.

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Tell me more about that!

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My family abandoned me in 2015. Im 28 and Handicapped. My Dad cheated and there was mayhem. I asked to stay with my Nana. Thought I would stay 2 weeks and I have stayed 5 years. 2017 my Grandfather passed.