I want to die.More than that, I want to die now. I don’t want to live life. I always want to die.
If I die now, I die happy. I die free of the thought and feelings I had on Earth
I just want to fucking die. No one cares about me. I hate my life. I want to die.
Dear @Reijak
I know where you’re coming from. Believe me when I say I’ve been there. I was lost in the world, and I felt no purpose. I felt like outside of my family, I had nobody, until I met someone, whom I began dating a few months later.
Unfortunately, she broke up with me. But this time, I don’t feel like I’m in the same hole. I still feel purposeful, and I’m moving along.
Why am I saying this? It’s proof that even if everything feels down, if you wait long enough, things will get better. Maybe you’ll meet someone, or find a higher purpose, or even just find some hobby that makes you happy. But you’ll never know what can make you happy if you let go now.
I took up baking bread as a hobby. When I throw together a boule and put it in to bake, I don’t know what the result will be. I don’t know until the time is up, and I either pull out a failure, or a successful loaf. There have been times that I felt like I messed up on my dough. But when my baking was completed, everything turned out fine.
I urge you, stay strong, find someone or something that makes you happy.
Stay strong, you are loved 
The feeling of wanting to die is most often a momentary one, it will often pass. If you still feelthis way in 2 months Iurge you to get professional help. That is all I can give you, as I refuse to fall to platitudes.
Hope you’ll be OK.
Martin / ThatOldDutchGuy