Ik rock bottom is ganna happen. Im just ready. Im tired of waiting around wondering when its ganna happen. I just need it to happen so i can get better. Hopefully things get better soon…everyone says things get better but my severe mental health issues started at age 5 and kept getting worse. So maybe things wont get better. All im asking is that things become livable. Like i am okay with living life. I wanna create a life for myself that i wanna be in. That i thrive in. That starts in october when i turn 18. Ima move to texas in with an aunt. Ima stand my ground. I am Never ganna step foot in this house again.
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Hey there,
It sounds like things have been very hard for quite a while. Despite the many challenges you’ve been face with it sounds like you still have a lot of hope for the future and for things getting better. It sounds like you have a plan to better your living situation so that you aren’t just existing but thriving. I am hopeful that the move to Texas with your aunt will provide a fresh start. One where you can invest in yourself and your mental health and start living and creating the life you want for yourself. Even just based on what you’ve posted here I get the sense that you are an extremely strong person who possesses a lot of courage. I am hopeful you will get to where you want to be and know that all of us here are cheering you on, are here for you when you need it and we truly believe in you!
Hold Fast,
Hannah
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Hey @Fallen_angel,
It’s hard when you’ve struggled with your mental health for such a long time. I was never diagnosed early in life, but I know I started to struggle with depression and anxiety at a very young age. It’s very draining to feel like constantly running through cycles of ups and downs. My heart goes out to you, friend. As you said, there are moments when we only wait for hitting rock bottom, to feel really really bad, so there would be the hope to get back on our feet somehow. When we fall down, we can only climb again, right?
Feeling like you’ve only survived most of your life is a very painful thought, and I’m sorry you’re going through a rough time right now. You know, somehow you’ve been thriving. Maybe not the way you wanted, but the very fact that you’re here today shows how strong and resilient you are. Yes, you deserve to live, and not just to survive. A good starting point is to make sure that you’re living in the right environment that will allow you to expand your wings in a beautiful way and it sounds that this perspective of moving to Texas is a very positive one. Hold on to this, friend. And in the meantime, make sure to take care of yourself as much as possible.
Through the years, you’ve learned to know yourself better, and you keep learning. The very fact that you know you’re going to hit rock bottom soon is a strength, because it means you can take care of yourself now and eventually make sure that you land safely. You’re not stuck in having to deal with sudden breakdowns. There are healthy steps to take in order to make those breakdowns less and less intense, with time. You grow stronger each day.
Be safe, friend. We’re in this with you. 
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Hey @Fallen_angel. I read your post earlier this week and resonated with it. It sounds a lot like you’re waiting for life to begin. I think a lot of people have felt the same ways as you during this pandemic—household situations suck, mental health in decline, relationships on the fritz. Each week I pick a forum topic and then write about it to encourage you and others on our HeartSupport publication and this week I chose yours 
Below is the link to a long response and some tips/advice on how to begin living now. Hollar back it you got questions or want me to clarify more:
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Thank you <3 the forum topic meant alot including the detication. I was hitting a hard spot but im okay now. This really helped thank you <3
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