I just want to be heard and understood

So ik this is going to sound really silly but…i think my sister hates me, i think people hate me heres why.

All my sister does is yell at me. All she does is get angry and she called me a burden one time and she just hates me. Said my mom made me out to be a burden to society all bc i have autism…

She snapped at me tonight and it triggered me i was so close to a meltdown instead i just shutdown and cried my heart out hiding from everyone. I feel like people just hate me even the only person i feel understands me isn’t talking to me rn…

I hate this… Sometimes i wish i didn’t have this condition…it can suck…


Hey Andy
Thank you for posting. Can I start by saying that nothing you say sounds silly, if you have a thought, its a thought and thoughts are ok, some may be negative and unpleasant but that does not mean they are silly and you cant share them, I also think that most of us believe at some point in our lives that our siblings hate us or can’t stand to be around us, we are raised together and however much we annoy oneanother there is nothing we can do about that. Im interested to know how you went from your sister to people though? that is quite a jump and I cannot imagine “people” in general hate you. I don’t.
I am sorry your sister snapped at you tonight, I know that is not a nice thing to do, was there a reason she snapped? did you upset her or say something she didnt like? I am just wondering if she just snaps at you for no reason or if you do something (it may not be something on purpose but it might be something that upsets her) what im trying to say is, if you could work out what makes your sister yell and find a way to come to an agreement that you will try not to do or say what that thing is (if its reasonable) perhaps she can agree to give you a break and stop snapping at you and talking about your autism which I would imagine makes everything worse.
As for “people” hating you, it may well be that some people do not understand everything about you, don’t understand Autism and that can be fearful for some and those people will avoid dealing with that person for fear of messing up, they dont realise that, that hurts just as much if not more but I honestly do not think that people hate you.
Finally going back to your sister, I would like you to know that growing up my brother and I couldnt stand eachother, we fought all the time, we had nothing in common, he was an arogant big bully brother to me and I was an annoying horrid sister to him. We are good friends now, as you get older you learn to appriciate and love the differences you have and also the history between you. I cannot image life without my brother now. Things do change.
I dont know what Autism is like Andy but I bet it can suck and im sorry for that but I hope that some of what I have said can help a little. You are loved friend. Lisa x

Good afternoon Andy,
Thank you for coming here to express yourself. I may not understand your exact pain when you were told you were a burden however, I have been called a burden among many things as a kid so I do understand that pain you feel of not being wanted around. I too used to shutdown and as an adult I still shutdown and I have to remind myself that although I may think that is the best way for myself to heal it is not. So thank you again for coming here to let that out. This is a community of people who want to help and support us all in our time of need. I remember when I used to argue with my brother and sisters and it wasn’t til I was older when I found the courage to express myself on how they used to talk to me. If there is any advice I could give you that may help is to try and sit them down to let them know exactly how you feel about certain conversations that you may have had. Maybe they get angry and frustrated because they don’t know how to deal with everything. I don’t think you are a burden and I like to think that your family doesn’t think you are a burden either. I do believe that having those conversations with your family will help them understand that you are just as frustrated and I think by allowing yourself to be vulnerable by expressing yourself will then make them just as vulnerable and maybe that is where everyone will be more supportive. I hope this helps but if not please come back and give us an update on how your doing.

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you’ve been friends with this person for a long time now, haven’t you? It’s someone you’ve shown your authentic self, and when they get a bit quiet, or absent, or busy, it can really suck and makes it hard to believe that they’re coming back, right?

When we’re missing someone, sometimes it helps to look at the evidence before us. You surely have some messages or texts right? Why not write them down in a book, or an online journal sort of thing, to be able to refer to when you’re feeling a bit lonely and you can’t talk to that person immediately?

same with HS folks too, maybe make a little space where you can look over nice messages you’ve received, any bits of art, etc. I know it’s hard to fight feelings with logic, but having those reminders maybe could help comfort you a tiny bit?

I am sorry that you’re hurting and you feel like no-one gets you. But this whole community cares about, look how many of us are here, showing up to let you know that you’re loved and valued here.