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I just want to disappear

I made one of these a couple of days ago but no one replied and I’m just, I don’t know what I’m doing here anymore. My family is falling apart. We used to be so close and I can’t walk around the house seeing the many pictures we took smiling and together. There’s nothing I can do. I feel so useless. I hate myself, I keep letting myself down. I don’t even want to post this really… what’s the point? It’s not going to change anything. Everything I want to be and want to do Is so faraway. My dreams are dead, pointless. I’ll never get there. As much as I smile and make jokes trying to make others laugh, I just feel so empty and discouraged inside. I’m never going to amount to anything, I’m too lazy.
I just don’t want to do this anymore.
What’s the point. School starts soon and that’s just more stress and more reminding how I don’t fit in, how alone I am. I don’t want to give up like this but I just don’t know what to do. What am I doing here, I’m no good to anyone

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Hey. I understand what you’re going through, and it sucks, I know. But being here on this site, reaching out, it proves you’re strong. I want you to know that I’m here for you. I’ll listen if no one else does. You have to keep holding on, I believe in you.

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Ahh! There’s so much here @Bvblover16. I found your other post, and I’m sorry I didn’t see it before :frowning:

One thing that really sticks out to me is the way you talk about yourself. Do you tuly believe you’ll never amount to anything? That’s some incredibly strong language that should warrant some incredibly strong proof. One thing I’ve learned recently is that the way you talk to yourself affects how you feel. Try it: “I’ll never amount to anything” vs “I might amount to something.” Really visualize and feel the difference. How can you know that you’ll never amount to anything? I know this is hard, I know because it’s something I struggle with a lot, but what if you were to observe your thoughts and find more realistic ways of phrasing things? You may find, as I have, that it lifts some of your discouragement, enough to get you feeling a little more motivated. But even though the way you talk to yourself is very important, I don’t believe mere terminology is what got you in this mess in the first place. It sounds like your family issues are a heavy burden, to say the least. Are you seeing someone about your feelings? Perhaps a school counselor? I think the kind of problems you’re going through would typically require a lot help from trained people to overcome. What your going through is nothing to shrug at, this sounds serious. I read “I’m no good to anyone” and I think that in all likelihood, if you really thought long and hard about that, you could find an answer to how you’ve been a light to people’s lives multiple times. Friends, teachers, parents…But the emotional state you’re in may have you blinded to all the goodness that you are.

In your other post it sounds like you’re working on so much. It took me years to finally do it, but sooner or later I accomplished enough things and realized that no amount of accomplishments would make me feel okay. Almost a year ago I stopped working on my dreams and instead started working on healing myself. I began therapy and it’s been transformative. Hope that can be an inspiration to you :slight_smile:

Cheers!