I turn 30 in April, and I feel like I am so far behind that I will never catch up. The few friends I have are all finding love and having kids, but I have never found my partner. Things are falling into place for everyone around me, yet its like I have been stuck for years. I feel like I am getting left behind, and I am just now an “afterthought”.
I’m at the point where every happy couple I see just gets me so angry and sad at the same time. Romantic songs, romantic scenes… it makes me look away cuz I can bear to see and hear it. So desperately want that kind of companionship. I have a good friend, but he will never understand why it makes me feel this way.
I think about how things will never change for the better. There is no hope that it will. I will always be the back seat passenger to everyone else’s life, never getting to drive my own.