You know, mental health breaks are great, you get to focus on stuff you enjoy doing, I’ve taken more breaks in three months than I have in a long while. Then you come back, just to realize everything is the same. You come from a point of being happy and stress free to the same situation(s) you were trying to escape. Makes it so difficult when you’re trying to work through the stress but you just want to be back at the point you felt joy. I took a week off all social media this week, didn’t even use my phone, I was camping in the mountains… I come back and have more stress to deal with that I left with. I just wanna go back to the short week, of just being happy
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Dear TheQuietKelsey,
I hope that you are currently feeling well.
The situation you described does sound familiar for me with my last job I had. Basically whenever I was missing for a week or just a day a lot of work would stagger on my table and the break I took to gain some energy turned more into worsening the work condition.
I started to go deep into myself to understand why I am not feeling happy, why am I so stressed on a Friday?
When I reflected my work on myself I noticed that the way I was working was not what I wanted, nor my body allowed it due to the stress it inflicted me. Knowing that a Holiday could be a potential punishment was not very helpful either, but we all need the money right? But my time, your time, is worth the money you choose. The one who gives you money you choose. So i started looking for a new job and noticed very quickly how better I felt with each submission to a new role. Of cource I also received lots of declines back then and no one likes those. But the hope getting a new role in a more better environment felt already so much better. One day I received my new contract and it was the same day I went to my boss and told him that I no longer will work for them. This moment alone lifted my heavy stone on my heart and stomach. I felt good. I felt free. I felt optimistic for the future and could finally focus on the most important part, the moment with myself.
Over the years I found my way to gain my happiness with very small things such as making myself a peppermint Tea. At first it sounds very basic but it made me happy sitting on the coach and enjoy just a glass of tea. Taking a deep breath to calm myself, listening to my body and the environment surrounding me (bird twitters).
I believe it was the same as you went to the mountains, you felt free and living the moment. The focus was on yourself and the environment.
My suggestion to you is to find the root of your stress and try to find a solution which you believe is the best. I hope that my story will encourage you! Stay healthy my dear friend.
Best wishes,
Jiwau
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Hey @TheQuietKelsey,
It’s incredible how this kind of life parenthesis, these breaks, can be at the same time so healing and powerful, but also bring a huge amount of grief once we have to go back to “normal”. When our normal is made of stress and lack of fulfillment, there’s nothing appealing to it and we wish we could live in the parenthesis for the rest of our life. How you feel is absolutely valid and makes sense.
Something that personally helps me when I feel like being constantly brought back to the same situation and feelings over and over, is to ask myself what I can learn from my latest experiences. Last year I took a break away from everything during a week-end. At the time, I was overwhelmed by the loss of my brother and his anniversary coming. I decided to go spend some time to the sea, breathe fresh air, disconnect from everything. I was suffocating so much at the time that I thought I would absolutely enjoy this moment as I needed it so deeply. Truth is: my depression was also present with me there. I cried a lot, and felt very guilty for “wasting money” renting a room close to the sea if I didn’t even enjoy the time I had there. It was a tough process to see that I forgotten that my depression and grief wouldn’t be “cured” because I would walk feet naked on the beach. Hard to accept that the good things that I can feel are intertwined with the most negative emotions and experiences I have. Expecting one to be exclusive would be denying a huge chunk of what life is made of. And it was all about this: my expectations regarding this trip, my expectations for when I’d be back home too. I’ve realized that they were not fair, and actually seeing the difference between them and the reality of things, I could only feel more depressed and disappointed.
When you’ve taken this break, the environment was better so it felt like your worries and problems were far away. Coming back home gives this impression that you go back to the old patterns and stressors. What if the word “break” was not the right one? What if you allowed yourself to actually have a very positive and fulfilling experience in the midst of your struggles? What if it was not a parenthesis, but entirely part of your life experiences - something that you could see as being part of a same timeline, and not exclusive to very special moments that would be outside of life itself? What you would have learn, in this perspective, is that:
1/ your current life environment plays a huge role in the way you feel, so there are important needs to address there in order to see what you could change or not in your environment in the future;
2/ you ARE able to feel joy even when you are struggling. Again, it may have been away from everything you usually know, but your personal worries and fears were not gone because of this - they were more silenced, peaceful, because you had no immediate reminder of these in your direct environment. This is incredibly powerful, because what you have felt, this JOY, is the signal that you ARE capable of resilience and thriving while your life may not have changed drastically. You are able to feel and experiment human life through a large spectrum of emotions. Having felt that way firsthand teaches you that it IS possible to seek and cultivate more joy in your life - this time, not through a momentary escape, but by initiating a process of acknowledging, understanding and responding to your current needs, one by one.
What is your stress made of these days? What are your burdens made of?
I believe in you. 
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From: ManekiNeko
mental health breaks are always important! I’m glad you felt a sense of joy while you were away. I do hope that you don’t use this time to just escape/ignore completely any stressors and issues going on. As important as it is to have a break, it’s equally important to make sure we do deal with the things building up so they don’t swallow us whole.
so maybe there’s someways to recapture that peace and joy of the quiet. For example, no phone after 7 or 8 pm or before 8am. It’s you’re time to find peace and quiet. It’s your time to read or watch a show or explore a new hobby.
Maybe on the weekend or on days off, you extend that time a little more. Before you look at your phone you go for an hour walk, or do something else for an hour.
so
1.prioritising your mental health, but ensuring that the stressors are dealt with
And
2. Ensuring you make time to recapture some quiet for yourself during the day
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From: Rohini_868
Hi there,
I’m so glad that you were able toget away for a bit and relax.
Escaping our troubles are great for short-term breaks, but maybe you can start to incorporate some of that at home? Could you set up a corner of your room to be your own “personal” mountain? A blanket fort, or a pile of cushions? Leave your phone in a bowl, and just carve out some time in the week where you can just disconnect and do your hobbies?
You can also look into setting limits to your social media use, if that is a source of stress for you as well. Give yourself a set time period for checking messages, replying etc, and also work in your self-care and hobbies? Don’t leave the lessons you learnt on the mountain there… bring the mountains home, and try to recreate that peace and serenity if you can! Glad you’re here with us, friend!
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From: eloquentpetrichor
Hello, TheQuietKelsey! Camping trips are so much fun! I’m glad you got away and enjoyed so peace in the wilderness.
It’s always nice knowing you can enjoy the quiet of not interacting with people or having your phone make noise constantly. You can definitely enjoy alone time and learn about yourself that way. I think if you set up some boundaries for yourself you could recreate that feeling in your daily life. Choose certain days or times during the day when you put your phone away and you just let yourself be by yourself and enjoy the real world for a bit. Life is all about finding balance within ourselves and with how we interact with others.
Good luck finding that balance
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