I don’t know what it’ll take at this point. Pills dont work, I just hallucinate. I cant completely slit my wrists, and I cant walk to the nearest gun store or hardware store. I just really want to die
Hold fast friend. I am so sorry you are in so much pain. Do you have someone you can talk to when you are desperate? A therapist or a (what was the term - first mate? from Dwarf Planet). Someone to help you when you are so very very low.
Thank you for posting about it here. I know there are many people here with much better words than I.
I do know this pain doesn’t last forever. You can feel contentment and even joy. I also know for a lot of us it does cycle back around again and is an ongoing struggle, but holding fast during the dark times is worth it for when the pain lifts. I can tell you you are loved and you matter.