My parents house has always been a generally good place, not a house I would fear to live in, it just never felt like home.
When I moved 7000km (4350miles) away from there for a bit, I finally felt like I belong, but ever since I’m back, I’m struggling to get this sense of home back…
I just got home after spending the evening with a friend, and I was sitting in my car for a while, just thinking about how I would love to just drive anywhere and not stop until the sun rises. I just didn’t want to go inside.
I’ve been pretty stressed lately and im worn and burnt out. I’m scared I’ll fall back into old habits.
I just want to keep driving, without thinking and without stopping. I just want to feel like I’m moving and going somewhere.
So relatable, fiji…feels like this place represents this stagnation and this swampland, where as soon as you step in, you’re sucked into this mucky place that locks you into feeling and being stuck…you felt freedom, you’ve tasted it, and you want more of it, and you can’t stand the blandness, the hopelessness of stagnation…you want to be able to feel alive and free where you are, because you’re wanting to make the most of the situation, but you can’t help but to feel this weightiness of the molasses-type environment that “home” feels like right now.
You are not alone. I have felt this same way so many times, especially when I’m stressed for long periods of time. Do you have any activities that help you to feel more calm or peace?