I keep sabotaging myself

I’m 28, going on my 6th year of school, working minimum wage, GF broke up with me a year ago, had to move into my aunt’s and share the sectional couch with my mom…

It feels like I just keep failing…and I know it’s my own fault…I’ve been doing nothing but sleeping in and eating fast food for a month…going to fail an important class I need in order to transfer…feels like validation for my GF dumping me (she use to say, “people never change”)…

I want to transfer for Aerospace Engineering, it appeals to my interests and will drastically change my life; but it’s so competitive and I’d hate to think it’s too late…

I screwed up my GPA by not going to my classes for a whole year…each quarter/semester I would say, “This is it, I’m going to get my act together,” however my latest semester ended with all F’s. I always get depressed, stop showing up to class, stop doing my homework and stop studying…

I’m going to be retaking these the classes from last semester, but I’m still plagued by my cumulative GPA (2.23)…

idk what to do…

This feels so familiar to me… hi friend0rags! Thank you for sharing on the forum. I always find it a bit scary to share here, opening up to people, even if anonymously is quite a big deal. So thank you!

This feels familiar to me. I’m 29, turning 30 in spring. I have started three types of studies and quit them on. In the meantime I finished one year of some minimal education as a make up artist. But I have no degrees whatsoever. I grew up in a family of high expectations which has always made it feel forced and strange. I never actually found what was right for me which put me in a lot of stress. I started developing a depression as a late teen, then it got triggered by a bad breakup.
For a whole year I didn’t leave my apartment. And quit uni. I never felt smart enough to try anything else because I always thought I’d have a bad memory. Or never be good enough. And I’d give up again and again.

However I don’t think it’s late. Ever.
I’m not sure how the school system work where you are but I do believe that if you want something and you want to work for it! I’ve realised nothing is free and nothing comes easy. And depression, anxyiety, similar are really crappy.
If you want to transfer because you feel it’s right for you, do it! If it’s right for you then I believe that you will, even if it’s rough and hard and you’ll have to kick yourself in the ass for it, manage to do it!

If you need anyone to write iwth or talk to feel free to email me [email protected]
I may be starting IT next semester, so it will be tough too. Perhaps we can motivate each other.

Again it may not be easy. Heck, it may be a rough time to get out every day. Study. Work. But are you willing to work for it to manage? And how hard?
“Getting your act together” - I’m scared this may be more of a negatively charged way of saying it. Perhaps rethinking and rephrasing it may help aswell.
:slight_smile: I don’t know if what I wrote makes sense? I am not the best at phrasing my thoughts.

I believe in you. And I don’t think you screwed up anything. You stumbled. You’re aware of yourself. And when I say “I believe in you” I mean it. No matter how long you are moving and how many times you stumble.
The whole community is here for you!


When you have your next go try to connect with a fellow student. Then develop a friendship of a kind if you can to help each other out. They insure you get to class and you guys study together, share notes, etc.

(Maybe doing this isn’t your thing. It wasn’t mind either. I did research and improved greatly at it. Believe me. If this was like 12 years ago you all would be banning me or I would never even bother joining this community. I didn’t socialize with people much back then or it was always a tither. I did research into conversation and relationships even success (I’m a bookworm).