I wonder where God was when I was getting beaten by my older brother, in 7th grade. I wonder where God was when my brother was calling me a fat, piece of shit when all I wanted was some fries from McDonald’s. He’s constantly, in my young life, abusive. Never there for me. Never supportive. I hate him. There is absolutely no reason I should forgive him. I have no reason or interest to see his face ever again. He’s part of the reason I want to kill myself. I know for a fact my life or feelings never mattered to anyone. I really want to kill myself. I hate this life. It is not worth living all the way through. I am better off dying sooner. My feelings never mattered and never will.
One of my favorite songs by Fireflight. I highly suggest for you to take a listen, friend.
I wonder too sometimes why God allows some things to happen. But I dont know why. What I know is that you matter, your feelings matter. This life is hard but we have to keep going. Don’t give up! Maybe this can help you a little https://youtu.be/L33djEEMEE8
Im sure there are a lot of people who do care you just got to ignore your brother and find people who are more supportive. Trust me they are out their.