I know that I suck

There is not much to say besides I’m sorry.
I don’t want to hurt anyone, but I also can’t talk to anyone. I just want someone to hold me and tell me everything is going to be okay.
But I’m alone.

I don’t want to hurt anymore. I don’t want to keep disappointing everyone.

I don’t know how I’m supposed to pretend to be happy tomorrow when my family celebrates my birthday (it was a bit ago).

I’m sorry.
I just want to get high and drunk and not care. I don’t want to care about everyone else around me getting what they dream of, while I sit here not knowing where left and right is.
I’m tired. I don’t want anymore.

I’m sorry.

2 Likes

Hi friend. I know it’s hard. But we can’t let the happiness and success of others make us bitter and cripple us from reaching our own goals. It’s understandable to feel sad when you feel so stuck or like you’re not quite where everyone else is. But it’s important that we don’t grow bitter over others achievements. We should be happy for our friends, loved ones and acquaintances the same way we would want them to be happy for us.

You can have things to. You may not go at the same pace as everyone else but you can also achieve your goals. Don’t cripple and trap yourself in a vicious cycle.

Make small goals and keep pushing for the things you want. Find the things that you need to do to keep yourself busy, happy and focused. It’s not an easy feat I know. Trust me, I’m currently going through it myself.

In fact last night I was up crying to my boyfriend about how broken I feel because I feel stuck and I want to move forward. I want to keep doing the things that I/we need to do to keep thriving towards success. Even if it’s uncomfortable. We have to be willing to break out of what’s comfortable and do things that may be uncomfortable and difficult so that we can succeed.

It’s hard. But take it one day at a time. Try to push yourself to do those things. There’s only one way to our dreams. And that’s to train ourselves how to help ourselves.

There’s a lot of love and support here along the way. But we gotta pick ourselves up. You can do this.

  • Kitty

Also, Happy birthday, friend. You are loved and valued by this community.