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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Dear Alcohol by Dax
I like how you say so many people’s lives are wasted by drugs and alcohol and that’s why we call it wasted. It makes me feel like I’m not alone, I struggle with that one too.
You are not alone!! You don’t fight addiction alone-- so many others go through the same or similar vices. We are here if you want to talk more about what you are struggling with. <3
@@HeartSupport I got into drugs when I was 16 and my middle school friends introduced me to marijuana. It escalated to LSD and magic mushrooms. I was convicted of disorderly conduct at age 18. I spent years playing runescape with this police officer who helped me out of smoking marijuana and vaping nicotine. I went to college, sober the whole time, but after college I got into nicotine and THC again. I struggled with magic mushroom cravings but I don’t have access to magic mushrooms anymore.
Dealing with the ups and downs of addiction can feel like a living nightmare at times. Starting with LSD and magic mushrooms at 16, then managing to stay sober through college, only to find yourself struggling again with nicotine and THC - it is a lot to deal with, and I’m thankful that you’ve chosen to talk about it here. The journey through addiction and sobriety can be such a rollercoaster, with its own set of challenges at every turn.
It’s completely understandable to have cravings, especially for something like magic mushrooms that played a significant part in your journey. Even though you don’t have access to them anymore, the mental and emotional toll it takes on you can still be really strong. Addiction has a way of sticking around, even while we are on recovery. At the same time, struggling with nicotine and THC must feel frustrating, especially after having been sober before. It’s like fighting the same battle over and over, which is exhausting. Internally, it’s like fighting between two parts of yourself, one wanting to stay clean and the other feeling drawn back to those substances. It takes a lot of energy on a daily basis. It’s objectively a hard place to be in, and it’s okay to feel conflicted about it at times.
The fact that you’re still pushing through despite the setbacks says a lot about your strength. I hope that, during moments of calm and reflection, you can acknowledge how far you’ve come, even when it doesn’t always feel like progress. Every step forward, no matter how small, shows that you are trying and making a difference. You are changing the direction of your own journey, and that is something to be very proud of. We are proud of you here. 
@@HeartSupport I feel conflicted about using nicotine. I do it several times per day and I like it but then I know I should quit. It’s draining thinking about when am I going to buy more, how much do I have left, and when am I going to quit. I know my parents want me to quit, but it’s so addictive I just keep wanting it. It’s hard to get that bird’s eye view and realize if I dropped this weight, if I let go of this in my life, I would have more freedom and be more empowered to build the life I want.