I lost my confidence

Hi. I probably won’t say my name. I lost my confidence. it happened because of my appearance/visual. I don’t understand how a person can be born such a ugly? I hate my face, my body, my hair. I want to be pretty like other girls. How I can be like them? How I can be pretty?
p/s:sorry for bad English, I used translator.


Hi ningning,
You don’t have to say your name, this is an anonymous forum after all. No matter who you are just know that I am proud of you for posting because sharing your thoughts can be hard sometimes. Your English is good, although language ability shouldn’t ever keep you from posting here.
The world is beautiful because everyone is different, if we all look like those plastic dolls, the world would be awfully bland. You are contributing your own brand of pretty, and its good that it’s not the same as everyone else.

Here for you

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You don’t have to say your name @ningning , that’s why this is an anonymous forum. :))

I don’t believe that you’re born ugly, hun. A lot of people feel that we are, because we are believed to be our own worst critic. These “pretty girls” you speak of perhaps feel the same way about themselves as you do with yourself. A lot of us tend to cover up what we don’t like with makeup or filters, so we’re viewed by others and ourselves as “pretty”, because that’s not what we see in the mirror everyday when we first wake up.

I want to share with you a resource with “positive affirmations”. I hope my definition reads across, but these are things you say to yourself every day that can help build back your confidence.

I know you will have to have it translated, but I hope these help. Is there any kind of counseling services where you are?

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From: The Blind Ash

Hi friend, I am so sorry you are struggling with appearance and self body image issues. This is super tough as our society around us determines how we see ourselves a lot of the time. It is also hard to not compare ourselves. I will say this tho you may feel as if you are ugly but even so that doesnt define who you are. Sometimes what we really need to see in ourselves is that inner beauty is what is better. We cant see from the outside the truly beauty of someone unless we get to know them. To me defining beauty as standard looks just isnt fair to others or yourself. I also want to add that most of the time when we see photos or such they are heavily editted to make that person look differently than they truly are I dont like that as again it is not good for those who see that photo but it doesnt mean you have to be that way. Only you are you. There is no one else like you in the world and that is one thing I find unique is how no two humans are entirely identical they either have different personalities or they have different looks. Telling ourselves that we have to be like everyone else takes away from us being us. Embrace the differences you have from others. Hold fast Ash

From: ManekiNeko

hello and welcome! You don’t have to share anything you’re not comfortable with! And you never have to apologise for English if it’s your second language or even one of many!

its so hard to live up to expectations of “beauty” standards. I don’t think I’ve seen a genuine photo of a model or influencer that wasn’t touched up, some beyond recognition. I think it’s only a recent thing that people have started to note this and pull at its strings. The societal definition of beauty is always changing. I’ve noticed a lot of reels from people bringing back 90’s fashion and oh boy, what a huge difference it was. Nobody would look at those trends of jeans under spaghetti strap dresses these days and think “wow that looked good”. There was that trend of having more defined lips, trends with feathering eyebrows. How are we meant to keep up?! When I was younger it was so cool to have just thin black eyeliner all around the eyes and not much else. We thought it looked great, but really we were just doing what we were told looked great.

you might not be able to change your face or hair or body, but what you do have is a real human heart with all the beauty of human connection and love inside it. And that to me is one of the most beautiful things a person can offer. X

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Hi there @ningning,

Welcome to HeartSupport; I’m glad you’re here and I appreciate your courage in sharing with us. Feeling bad about appearances is tough and can be so taxing. With that said, I hope you and those around you recognize that what’s inside – who you are – is far more important than what’s on the outside (how you look).

Plus, you likely look far better than you give yourself credit for. It’s common to feel bad about one’s appearance when the reality is that they’re just comparing with online images and similar that misrepresent the general public. We often are our own harshest critics.

I’m sending much love. We care about and value you, and appreciate you for sharing.
<3 Tuna

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From: Manni XP - Snow Edition

Hey, thank you for sharing here! I also have struggled with acceptance of my appearance, so I can relate. I think people put undue emphasis on specific physical appearances. If you take care of yourself, then that is what the people worth having around will see. I encourage you to consider the following: Why do you want to look one way or another?

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