I have school on Thursday again. For the first time in months. And I am already terrified. My anxiety has been up the whole day, I feel like crying and like I’m about to throw up. I hate this so, so much. I can’t even tell my parents, because they’d just get mad and yell at me. I don’t want to see my classmates again. I don’t want to see my so called “friends” again. I don’t want to go through all this bullshit of arguments and fights everyday again. I don’t want to have all this unnecessary teenage drama again. I don’t want my teachers to put pressure on me again, making me fucking break even more. I don’t want to be pressured into talking in front of people again. I don’t want to have panic attacks again. I just want to be alone. Away from everyone.
Hi! First thing I have to say is that I am glad that you decided to share this in this community, is hard to open up, so thanks !
I understand what are you feeling right now, my university classes start in three week and I feel scared to start, because there are people in my class that I dont want to see and etc… And I remember not so long ago I was more scared and I feel myself not wanting to summer never to end.
But in this comunnity they help me by giving some advice, like maybe you can chat to someone from your class that you feel comfortable with and have a nice conversation or something like that, maybe that can help you to not have those many negative though.
Other advice that they gave me, is to try to enjoy the last days of the summer you have and to try to think less about the first day, like they always say, carpe diem, live the moment.
And to end with, my advice would be, that when you are going to school in the first day, try to think, “this is a new year of school and it gonna be my year”. I know that isnt easy but try to go into class with more positive mood, you will have more energy to go to class, you wont care about what others tell you. I am not an expert, but I think that when you have positive attitude, things change for the best.
Like I said it wont be easy,but I think that it worth it, you deserve to go to school happy!
Good luck on your first day and take care !
I have been through this in my life. It sucked bad for me. I was bullied by the whole entire school. It made me cry that i wanted to kill myself. So i totally understand this. This is really brave of you sharing this. I forced my parents to pull me out of school because i was afraid to go back every day. I just couldnt deal with being bullied anymore. So yup i totally understand what your going through.