The last two weeks were emotionally so overwhelming and crazy that I can’t handle much now.
I have all this piled up emotions inside of me and it’s trying to all come out.
I was reading this book to my nephew today and it’s all about that it’s okay to be sad, and I almost started crying.
I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, but I don’t want to feel like this anymore.
I don’t want to do this anymore. I feel so useless and stupid.
I guess all things would be better if I wasn’t here to destroy them. I guess everyone would be happy to have to worry about what I’ll ruin next for them.
I guess no one will miss me.
And I think I’m okay with all of that.
I guess I’ll just have to leave.
Who am I kidding? No one’s going to read this… bye
I’m sorry things are so hard. I read it and I truly care about you. I know how loud the lies can be and it’s hard when you are holding in so much. I know it’s hard to let out emotions but it’s okay to not be okay, to cry, to get angry. So many people care about you. You don’t have to walk through this alone. You are enough, you are worthy and are cared for. Please keep reaching out to us.
Hi @fiji, I want you to know that I read this. I’m sorry you’re feeling these ways, but I want to let you know that you are NOT useless or stupid just because you are struggling with difficult emotions. First of all, your nephew doesn’t believe that because you are reading a book to him, you MATTER in his world AND your family’s world.
A lot of these things you write about sound like a lot of the distorted thoughts that I have when I am in a difficult place mentally and emotionally. With all these piled up emotions, I am glad that you chose to share them here on the support wall because this community cares about you. Have you ever considered talking to a counselor or some sort of mental health professional? That can be a tremendous way to help put a lot of these thoughts you’re having into perspective and recognize that these thoughts are just thoughts, and they don’t have to be true.
I would also encourage you to check out the Resources page: https://heartsupport.com/resources/
You have access to the HS stream via Twitch, you can get any of the workbooks for free if money is tight, and you can even get a 7-day free trial with BetterHelp! That is amazing that all of that is available to you in one place, I would recommend taking advantage of that.
I’ve seen you post about similar things quite a few times, just know that you don’t need to be stuck in these feelings forever. Hold fast friend.
It’s worth thinking about your nephew and that because of your influence he may have a little head start in life in dealing with his feelings and emotions in a healthy way.
Your experience in what you are going through is hard, I’m sure. Struggling with thoughts of being useless is very hard. If you left, your nephew would be missing a part of his life too.