I’m always been a loner, I leave the people that care about me and beg for affection for people that give two shit about me. Kinda a Shiite human being.
I’m sitting at a bar with no one to talk too, everyone in this city hate me. I was the most hated kid in high school, 32 years old and still don’t belong in this world.
I hate myself, I’m not good person. Everyone normal person hates me.
That asshole from woman from Rhode Island hates , that self righteous liberal skater poser. Hate me and pretend to like just fucking use me. I can’t go back to skate Rhode Island because of that asshole. She the reason why I will never get close to people. I will never let another women hurt me again. I will put a bullet in my head before I let that happen. I will never be like you kind, I rather die than turn into you disgust people. These liberal thinks they are so self righteous and judge everyone before they judge themself.
I’m reminded of Byron Katie’s 4 questions:
1. Is It True?
Starting off by the foundational level of questioning your thoughts. This answer needs to be a clear yes or no. We need to remain objective while investigating this question. Take notice if you are trying to convince yourself that it is true.
2. Can You Absolutely Know It’s True?
If your answer to the second question is yes, it is time to keep digging. Byron Katie guides you to keep looking at this instance and see what it will reveal to you if you remain objective.
3. How Do You React When You Believe That Thought?
This question in itself is extremely potent. Think about the way you feel when you believe this thought? How does your inner perspective change? How does your approach to others shift when you believe this thought? Is there any chain reaction that happens when you believe this thought such as addictions or cravings?
4. Who Would You Be Without The Thought?
As if you were able to go back in time take a moment to reflect on this situation again. Relating to question number 3 visualize who you would be without this thought. You need to come to a fully objective and neutral viewpoint to gain the most from this.
How would you treat the other person? How do you feel about yourself?
You’re not a bad person, I believe you are someone who is hurting and wants to be loved. You deserve to be loved.
One thing I will always say to you is how proud I am of you for the steps you take. I saw you reply to someone who needed support and my heart was so proud of you. Even when you’re struggling and hurting you show love, and to me that is something a really good and loving person does
Hello again, friend! You are not an awful person and you do deserve friendship and love!
Like I said yesterday in my response to your other post, I hope that you find some people you can connect with who help you see the world in a better light. You deserve that and you deserve all the kindness in the world. Keep posting and keep hope alive
I’m so sorry you’re feeling like you aren’t a good person and that everyone hates you. I bet there are a lot of people in your life who love you. People that aren’t good don’t care if they are, but you do care so that shows me that you are a good person. You’re dealing with a lot of stress and symptoms that make dealing with some things in life very hard. I’m so proud of you for coming here to let out your frustrations, strong emotions and thoughts. You have made a lot of progress with using your DBT skills and putting into practice the copings kills your therapist teaches you. So, yeah I think you are a good person and I’m proud of you. You matter!
i love what wings sent your way in the reply to your post. the more we try to convince ourselves that we’re not good, the more we start to believe it. i encourage you to re-frame your mindset in the good you can offer to this world. you’ve endured so much in your life and the damage feels deep but i know you can rise above it all like you’ve done so many times before. sure, people have hurt you and made you believe you have no worth but i know deep down you know the truth. you know you still have so much love to give. you’ve given so much love already to this HS community. keep pursuing what you’re passionate about, rise above the misconceptions others try to push on you, and put hope above all else that your brighter tomorrow is within reach. you got this, my friend.
Well you know, it seems like you are being thoughtful about a lot of the difficult ideals that are on people’s minds and discussions right now. It is not really being a loner or bad to feel differently from others. Who knows? Maybe your ideals are the better. But, one has to kind of listen to all the different voices these days. And it can be distressing and stressful sometimes.
So don’t forget to give yourself a break from it all from time to time. Notice something beautiful in nature. Or some calming music. Or whatever gives you a break from it,
I’m seeing someone who cares more than they are admitting. I’ve seen you here for a long time now and I actually see you differently than you see yourself. I see the good things you do and you care. I saw that you gave encouragement to someone else here. That’s good. You hate how divided we are - liberal or conservative - all judging from their viewpoint. And you are right about that. And you’re right we judge others before we judge ourselves so many times. That is coming from someone who actually cares and gives a rip. I know that you don’t know me and I don’t know if I’m normal or not - but I don’t hate you. Not by a long shot.