Background: My fiancé and I have been dating for close to 5 years now and have been engaged for a year. We have an almost two year old son. We bought our first home three hours away from where we currently live. Our relationship in the beginning was great! We were in love and always all over each other. We’d always do everything and always show small acts of love. I unexpectedly became pregnant and it took a toll on me emotionally. I became more distant from my partner and more consumed with my mental health. After our son was born we had a lot of problems because of his toxic family. I was really hurt and I became even more distant. We still have sex just not as often. But I’m not as affectionate and I don’t really treat him like in the beginning of the relationship. Things have been rocky and I’ve told him on multiple occasions that he’s not the partner I want him to be for me. I’ve done a lot of criticizing and demanding to meet these needs. He’s told me he feels unappreciated and like he’s not wanted or loved but I can’t seem to get out of the routine to be more affectionate. I think this branches out from us not putting effort in like we were when we were first dating. I think we’ve fallen into a routine and have gotten comfortable with the routine. A week ago we got into an argument and I told him I felt like I wasn’t truly happy with how things were between us.
Issue: I am staying with my parents for a week until our home is ready. My fiancé is supposed to be bringing all of our stuff this weekend to move in. I received a message from a girl who lives 30 minutes from our apartment asking if I was dating my fiancé. She proceeded to send me screenshots of them talking. It was small talk. He didn’t flirt with her and she didn’t flirt with him. He invited her to a haunted house and then he deleted her off Facebook. She asked if he had a girlfriend and immediately contacted me after asking. I called my fiancé and he admitted to me talking to her on Sunday evening and Monday. He said he did this because he was seeking attention I don’t give him. He said he had no intention of meeting with her. He just wanted someone to pay attention to him.
My thoughts: My heart shattered and my chest felt like it wanted to explode. I am completely taken aback by this because I never expected him to do such a thing. He’s never done anything shady. Never hid his phone or passcode. I read all the messages again and nothing was flirtatious and she did send all of the messages. Part of me wants to forget this ever happened because he didn’t physically do anything. But another part of me wants to leave him for betraying me. I think me being neglecting plays a big role in this. I understand how not feeling loved and appreciated could lead you to want to search for this elsewhere. Is it still wrong? Absolutely. I just truly love this guy so much I can’t bring myself to walk away. Am I being unreasonable?