So it’s my brothers 32nd birthday today and with this comes the realization that I’m 6 months and 25 days I’ll be 30. I’m starting to feel old and broken down because all I’ve ever had job wise was manual labor jobs and my body is broken. I’ve never worked a full time job, and my dad was my role model for a work ethic and he put in 80-100 hours a week. This means to come close to emulating him I need to work 60-80 hours a week to even come close because he believed that unless you were in the hospital dying you needed to work. This is making my recovery from leg surgery harder because I feel guilty for not working and living off my retirement. I just feel like I’m not good enough for the girl I’m talking to, my family, anyone. My company curbs our hours at 30 but because it’s night shift I can’t get a 2nd job because I need to sleep. I just wish getting old and recovery were easier.
@Bcrit, 30 is not as old as your mind is making you believe. You’re still young. Try not to let it get you down. With age comes experience, wisdom, and seeing things in a new light. It happens to everyone, so just take a breath. Things would be awful if you stayed young forever, never getting anywhere, wouldn’t it?
What would your dad say to this leg recovery? He wouldn’t think you’re anything less than what you are because of something out of your control. This is your body we are talking about. Your health is something you need to take care of before you start stressing yourself about work. Your dad may be your role model, but that doesn’t mean you need to be a clone of him. Make your own legacy.
You’re ambitious, and you should be proud of yourself. Sometimes our minds trick us, our thoughts lie. If you want, ask the girl what she thinks of you, and ask your family what they think. You try, and that should be good enough for anyone.
It’s all in your mind. Maybe you feel old because you’re not living your life to the full reach.
Never give in, friend. You’ll be okay.
Your father sounds like he worked really hard and having a good work ethic is something to aspire to have. Bug my friend, working that many hours in a manual labor job would quite literally kill you. You are only human and your body needs rest and time to heal. No matter what age you are you need to listen to your body and take care of yourself. Working is important , but make sure that it doesn’t become your first priority. My grandfather was an electrician and when he was 76 he would still re-shingle houses! You have so much energy and strength in you. Take care of yourself so that energy and strength don’t ware off from years and years of working to the point of hurting yourself.
Thanks for sharing with us, that shows a lot of strength. I understand where you are, i promise. I have a wife and baby and I feel the pressure to perform every day. What I have found to be the truth in my life is that I cannot give my best if I am not at my best. If you feel you need time to rest and recover, then take time! Especially if you had surgery - you’re not good to anyone if you’re exhausted and broken. Take time for yourself, find a hobby, and dismiss the garbage assumption that all a man is good for is working himself to death. It is far more noble to be a present, loving, and strong friend, husband, father, and role model. Masculinity is not destroying yourself so people will love and respect you, no. Masculinity is sacrificing yourself for others and and showing up for others where they need you most. If you’re beat, destroyed, tired, and emotionally drained all the time, you’re not good to anyone.
There is hope, my friend. Message me if you want to talk more! I can recommend a few podcasts and books to you on this topic of you’re interested.