Last post here tonight…
All the stress and toxicity in my household it’s taking a toll on me. I’m tired of being treated like crap all of the time. I hate saying it this way but my family makes me feel like the odd ball. And I can never get them to understand that they do NOT treat me the same as my sister. I know that sounds like a daughter begging for attention. Maybe it is. Or maybe it’s a cry for help but everyone is too blind to notice it. My family actually makes me think I am crazy sometimes. It’s the how they can twist their words around and be back and forth in their ways. “Oh, I never said that!” and you get what I mean. My parents/family have never understood me my entire life and they really know so little about me and that’s really sad to me. Maybe it’s because I bottle up literally every single thing I experience and am afraid to tell anyone in real life. This last week we had to get rid of my dear cat. My dad literally refuses to do anything himself so he forced one of us to do it. We’ve had that cat for a long while now and it was very hard for me to just give her up. Everyone kept trying to force me to do it and I kept hinting that my I do not have the emotional capability to do this at all. They did not care a single once. Everyday since then it’s like they have to remind me of how bad of a family member I am because I did not take the cat to the shelter. This entire week has been an emotional roller coaster already and no one could give me a sincere apology or even acted like they cared. I’ve cried so much this week because of unfortunate circumstances not related to the cat and all I get from my father is “why are you such a crybaby?” “You cry too much!” “Stop being so sensitive!”. All I have gotten from my sister is “I want absolutely nothing to do with you” and my mom just started talking shit when it came to me not taking the cat down. This family has no fucking clue who the fuck I really am and how much I really go through and everything have went through because of them. I’ve literally almost fucking died too many times to count because I have felt that I wasn’t worth it anymore and it would be better without me. The only reason that I am actually still here is because of the thought of my mom waking up one morning and finding me dead by. That devastates me.
Why am I writing this again? I just want to be heard not just listened to. I want someone to tell me it’s okay to feel what I feel and I’m not a disappointment for it.
Last post here tonight…
families… they can give us the greatest comfort if they function well, or they can give us a whole bunch of issues to fix and pick at for years.
I SEE YOU
I HEAR YOU
AND I CARE ABOUT YOU.
Having to give up a beloved pet is so hard but I hope she’ll be okay and that she’s being taken care of by the shelter. It sounds like the punching bag of the family in some ways, and when they’re having a bad day, instead of sitting and working through their own emotions, they just turn against you.
Your life matters, you matter. it’s sad when the people around us lack the emotional maturity to see how their actions and words affects a person. But the good news is that they don’t define you.
The world is better with you in it. We just got to get you in a headspace where you believe that
glad you’re here with us, we’d love to be here for you on this journey. You matter, and we’re here to remind you of that fact.
Hi @BeautifulRemains I feel for you and I absolutely hear and see you. I have the same type of emotions and growing up was pretty bad for me too. Remember that you are worthy of happiness and love just like everyone else. You are not a bad person at all, you are caring person. I hope you can find peace and know that you are loved. ~Mystrose
hey friend, thank you for being here on this forum and posting about this heartbreaking family situation you’re in. the fact that your family has pushed you to the side, not caring for what you’re passionate about or respecting your emotions, is horrible and you deserve far better than what you’re getting. i am so sorry for your loss of your cat and i hope you were able to grieve through the passing of your cat. please allow me to be the one to say you are seen, you are heard, and you are loved. your family’s treatment of you shouldn’t let you lose sight on these facts. especially in this heartsupport community, you are not alone and i hope you can continue to reach out here if you need to talk through these family events and mistreatments, hoping this will ease down once you’re able to move out and be with those that give you the same love and respect as you give them. you are worth it and i hope to hear from you again soon because no one should ever feel like the world/your family would be better without them. the world is stronger, better, and kinder with you around, that is a fact! so stick around, it absolutely gets better. love, twix
Hey there @BeautifulRemains
I’m so very sorry you have been going through this. So much pain, sadness, and frustration going on and I can see that your family was not supportive or understanding.
I actually went through a similar experience when I was in high school and my parent made me take my senior dog to the vet to be put down. It hurt so much. And the thing I see in your post is that you and I have a lot in common in this pain. The fact that your parents and other family members are not able to sympathize is not your fault.
You are very justified in not feeling seen or heard by those around you. I think you are stronger than you might believe you are to deal with this day in and day out. You are not “being so sensitive” you are being yourself, a caring and empathetic person. You need and deserve to feel loved and appreciated.
I don’t know your specific circumstances but I would advise based on my own life if you are able to find support outside the home it will be more useful in this case. Find people who do care about your feelings and are open to talk. A dear friend, therapist, maybe a relative that you trust. But you know we have your back here too.
You are “worth it” every single day. You have value and you are an important part of this world. Don’t let the negativity or toxic behavior of those around you tell you otherwise. Take care <3/Mish
Hi Friend, Thank you so much for posting and sharing how you feel with us, I am so glad you did, can I start by saying that you sound like a wonderful person with a massive heart who deserves to be loved, valued and heard and hear we will always do that with no judgements whatsoever. I can imagine how sad you felt about your little cat and it breaks my heart that you had to part with it, i love my animals and its very sad to have to say goodbye but they always know who loved them and you loved it so keep that in mind, it knew how much love you had for it. I think its so sad that your dad doesnt seem to understand how you feel, sometimes we expect parents just to get it right and sometimes they struggle too, it doesnt always come naturally being a parent, that of course isnt easy for you but maybe there is still time for him to come around and still learn how to relate to you and a growing person, I would love for you tobe able to write one of your parents a letter, letting them know exactly how you feel including your feelings on not wanting to be here, i think its important that they learn how unhappy you are feeling. In the meantime please use us as help, as sounding boards as support. we are here for you. much love lisa
Hello, BeautifulRemains and thank you for sharing! You do not sound like someone begging for attention. You sound like someone who does not feel like their family loves them the way they should and that is never easy. I cannot imagine what it feels like to have someone who should be loving and caring for you ridicule you for expressing your emotions. But as a child I was always afraid to express my emotions because I was afraid for people to see me that way. So I want you to know that I think you are strong for not being afraid to show your emotions even when someone tries to shut them down. And that you are not afraid to continue telling them how you feel no matter how much they try to invalidate you. You show strength every day you stay on this earth and I hope you continue fighting to live your life regardless of what your family thinks of you. You are better than them and you deserve to find people who will treat you better and who accept your feelings and help you rather than telling you these hurtful things.
I see you, friend. I hear you. And I hope you find the love you so rightly deserve to be shown. Please keep posting and please keep fighting. Please keep letting us show you that you are heard and supported and loved by the people in this community. You matter
It is challenging to deal with toxic people, for sure.
As for the odd? Know what? I love people that are not like everyone else! Those are the ones that bring spice to life! But remember, you are your own person, and you can be your own person. You can take pride in that. As far as what anyone thinks of you? If it is something that you know (and you do) is not the case? Well then you be yourself and it doesn’t matter what they think. As far as being emotional, we are humans, we are emotional. Absolutely nothing wrong with that. If they do not want to listen, and maybe they are incapable. Try to find someone that will listen. You are valuable, and you can be sure of that! And I am perfectly happy to maybe be odd in some other’s eyes!! You might be the one that changes the world! Please continue to make your way in the world! You are special.
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