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I’m just sad and lonely

Hey…So school started recently. I’m only 3 weeks in, and I’m already super stressed out with the work load. On top of that, I’m feeling really lonely. I know I have friends there for me, but it just feels like they’re there. Ya know? I don’t feel like I have anyone to call a best friend. Also, 2 years ago I really fucked up and said some pretty mean things to this one girl. She said I “ruined her life”. Now I just feel guilty every time I see her. And it doesn’t help that she’s in two of my classes. I can’t seem to let go, even when I’ve tried everything. My depression is coming back, and I’m afraid that I’ll end up in a hospital again. I don’t know what to do anymore. I’m trying, but honestly I’m just going through the motions.

I can empathize. I didn’t have any best friends and school made me stressed and anxious. I ended up being home schooled for some of it as a result.
As I got older what I realized is that school isn’t as important as it feels at the time. Now I don’t mean flunk out… But friendships and who you are change so much after it. I wish I could have relaxed and not put so much stress on myself.
I don’t know if a homework load is also causing stress. If you are struggling with a particular class I highly recommend talking with teachers. They often are more understanding than you think.
I don’t know if this helps. But I hope it does.

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I do want to relax and not worry so much, but I don’t know how. It’s hard. Everything good in life just seems so far away. I don’t want to wait years for things to get better. I’m sick of being so depressed. Thanks for your kind words :two_hearts:

I completely understand. And I still often feel that way still. If there is a school counselor or cool teacher or your parents or another adult you could talk to and maybe help you organize the school aspect so at least that is less stress. Might allow you some more time to get out and socialize too. I always struggle with the work life balance.

Sending strength.