Before I talk about this, I want to warning this very sensitive toplic and don’t hurt anymore people. Please this offend anyone, it not my goal and don’t you to read this.
I’m not a good person, I done to women again, I sound fucking broken record and I’m selfish not admit my wrong. But I try to be honest and not be a fake.
My action came with a price of guilt and shame. I would do anything to redeem myself. To fix those mistakes and be a better man.
Again, I end a friendship recently and it did not end well. I self harm that day we fought, I was 7 months clean before that (also going to DBT therpy) .
We good friend for a while, for like 10 years. I always try to see the good in him, gave him rides, let him stay at my beach house and been there for him.
However kept harassing me to stay at my beach, I kept calmly telling him no. Then big fight would happen. It got so bad, I end the friendship, I had therapist told me he was not a good friend.
Recently, he drove by my house even live like hour away and his job is an hour alway. He been calling my mother and making her having problems with me.
I told about fuck up shit I did in my past. He kinda a two face and will trying bring that shit to other people. Also side there mess up shit about him, he laugh at a girl that has been assaulted (and knew the guy who did it) made a guy fell off his bike and laugh about it. Made a lot racist comments and my sister told me he was a creep.
Again, I know don’t deserve forgiveness for my past ( even selfish want it). But I trying every way to change from that person. Been doing DBT therapy, meditation and try fix my mistakes. I don’t pretent to be this perfect person. I’m sorry what I did and want to grow.
I have new job that could change everything for me, I work as a janitor at schools and I don’t want him to spread rumors about me around.
Last thing, he had nerve to tell I had anger issues, which may be true, but he knew that would hurt. These fucking asshole know, how bring me down to point I don’t even know my sanity.
This friend is dead to me.