I’m realising that I’m a mess. My life is a mess.
On the surface everything looks at least okay. I’m not in a great situation health wise but I still look pretty good all things considered on the outside.
I’m not. I’m stressed. I hate myself. I’m depressed and anxious and dissociating. I’m fighting addiction and poor coping mechanisms. I can’t see a future I’d enjoy or want to live. I can’t get away from myself and my issues they just follow me everywhere.
I have so much support and help around me but I’m feeling like I’m drowning. I don’t know what to do. I don’t know how to begin to repair this.
Thank you for posting, the first thing that came in to my head when reading your post was to ask you to breathe, stop and take some deep breaths, I can feel your stress in your post and no my friend you cannot out run problems, they will always travel with you so finding a way to cope with them is a far better.
What methods of self care have you tired for the depression, anxiety and dissociation? There a a few that you can try that will help with strengthening your coping mechanisms and hopfully helping teach you how to handle your problems in a healthier way, hence then being a happier and less stressed person. I am going to give you a link to a website that gives you a lot of information on these self care practices. I hope its helpful to you.
I wish you lots of luck
It’s wonderful that you have supportive people around you. It sounds like you are well loved. Please consider however, it’s possible to be loved abundantly, but still not have the kind of expert support that you need. Being lovingly supported is important, but with that, expert support is needed.
While depressed, it’s usually not possible to see anything positive about the future, but does that mean that good and enjoyable things don’t exist?
One thing is certain, you don’t deserve to hate yourself. Think about being as kind and accepting towards yourself as you are to others. It’s only fair.
Thank you for having the courage to share your struggles. That is a lot to carry, and all the while, not letting it show is bearing down on you. It is hard to overcome addiction and poor coping, so it makes sense that you are stressed underneath all of this. It must feel hopeless to deal with everything and not be able to envision a better life. I imagine that you also feel trapped by not feeling that your struggles will ever go away.
It also sounds like you have a good support network even when it’s hard to reach out to them. They want to see you overcome your challenges.
Remember that progress isn’t going to be as simple as we plan. There will be good days, and there will be days where you get of track. I hope that as time goes on, you’ll be able to find more good days.
Take care, Friend!
I feel on that one, it hard to keep everything together. I hope you feel better