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I’m Not Strong Enough to Save Others From Myself

I haven’t felt good in quite a while, I constantly feel angry and depressed, and it doesn’t let up. Even if I vent or open up to people. It’s gotten to the point where because my emotions upset people, I hide them and bottle everything up, it feels like it makes no difference in my mood if I do, but when I do I can protect the ones I love from myself. The problem I have is that my strength is fading and I’m not sure how much longer I can hold myself together. What’s the matter with me?

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Hey @JanuaryGem,

Thank you so much for opening up and being here. :heart:

There’s nothing wrong with you. And it’s really kind of you that you want to protect your beloved ones. Do you know why you feel angry and depressed? If you don’t, first it could be great to talk about it to a doctor and get a check up to be sure your body doesn’t lack of anything. Also, maybe if it’s something you’ve been experiencing for a certain time, you’d have to consider talking about it to a therapist. I don’t know if you identified the reasons behind, so if it’s not the case and if it’s not due to any physical reason, then talking about it to a professional could definitely help.

Also If it’s winter where you live, maybe it affects you a bit. It’s the case for many of us, every year. For me, I know that it usually makes me feel depressed, tired and impatient. And I get easily annoyed by almost everything, mostly stupid ones. But anyway, whatever the reasons behind, we’re just human beings and we do what we can. So right now be gentle with yourself, okay?

It can be really hard to manage your emotions when you’re struggling. As it can be difficult for others to understand. AND to let them understand. Communication is really important in such circumstances. It doesn’t have to be a choice between two extremes such as fighting or hiding. And I don’t think hiding your feelings will be helpful for anyone. Especially because you seem to feel exhausted by this. So you can still try to let others understand what’s going on through some honest communication. If you feel like you’re not in the right mood, try to say it. Like, “sorry it’s not the right moment for me ‘cause I’m feeling angry and I don’t want to be mean to you, but we can talk about it later” or “I appreciate you but I need to be alone for a bit”. As others can’t guess what’s going on, you can always tell them if you want, so it doesn’t end in an argument.

Also maybe there are things you can already try to do to ease those feelings. We’re all used to hear that exercise is powerful for our bodies and our minds, and that’s absolutely true. Maybe trying to reconnect to your physical sensations could help you to let this angriness out and relax.

It’s just some suggestions and you can take them as it is. But know that if you feel overwhelmed, it’s okay to ask for help. :heart:

Hold fast.

Thank you MicrosmosK, I think I’ll give your advice a try. And again, thank you for taking the time to try and help me.

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