I’m scared I’ll be alone

I am young. A teen. My bf has just broken up with me. And I’ve never had really any luck with love. Any of the relationships I’ve had ended in disaster. And I’m always scared I’ll never be enough or they’ll tire of me and leave me. Or that I’m not as fit or as pretty as other girls, or that I’m different and no one will like me. Most of my friends always have ppl after them. I believe it’s because of a mistake I made a year ago. I was in a mentally abusive relationship, and my bf at the time has screenshotted my nudes. Then when we broke up he sent them everywhere. And I attempted suicide. Ever since then I’ve always had comments or I feel like no guy or girl will want me. Just because of one mistake, they think I’m a whore. The guy who screenshotted my nudes was 16, me only being 13 and never had a bf at that time. I am going to be 15 this August, and I just feel so alone. I’m not as skinny as other girls my age. I’m curvy. I have muscular shoulders and legs, my arms are large and I’ve a decent bust. I’d kill to have a better body and I’m trying to change. But it’s extremely stressful, I feel like I have to be perfect for anyone to want me at all. Ik I am young, but I see my friends have ppl who love them in a romantic way, and I don’t have that. It’s really lonely and ppl say I’m pretty and all, but if I’m so pretty or nice where is the ppl who want me then? That’s what i always ask. Then ppl say it’ll just take time, but how long? I just want someone to hold me when I’m falling apart, someone who wipes away my tears, someone who makes me laugh and feel warm, someone who knows me well enough to know when I’m not ok, who accepts me, loves me for me and not my body, a person who doesn’t text me at 1 am saying you up? Someone who doesn’t lead me on, doesn’t lie, replies straight away, tells me when I’m wrong, tells me it’s gonna be ok, makes an effort so I don’t feel like I’m doing everything all the time. I’m so sick of feeling like that. I hate my skin, my body, my weakness, I just want to boil my skin off sometimes and cut off my fat. I just want a break, just one nice person who I know I deserve, I never cheat, Always have reasons to be mad, but always want to work it out. I give up, it’s like nothing I do is right. I hate myself and my depression and sadness hates me as well as all others around me.

I don’t have alot of room to talk but from my current mistake I will give advice i have been with my bf sence I was 17 and it has honestly done nothing but hurt me he treats me like garabage and makes me feel very small my biggest regret was rushing into it because I didn’t want to be alone I’ve been on my own sence I 15 and when we feel like some one cares that feeling that we longed for so long its terrifying to think that it will be gone I wish I would of just broke up with him 4 years ago because now that’s all I know and I literally depends on him and he takes advantage of it while ur young have fun and don’t settle for anything less than u deserve take your time i was always the too skinny girl and being 5"8 didn’t help I have always been asked if I eat and told I’m to thin and i need to eat more I always wanted to be curvy because i personally think it’s beautiful everyone wants what they don’t have and there is nothing wrong with u honey your beautiful from ur head to your toe I’m here if you need to talk

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It’s ok to be scared I know how you feel. I was in a relationship for almost eight years and I thought I was going to marry her but then she broke up with me it destroyed me as a person still hurts sometimes to this day and was in another we I wasn’t fully over and it caused problems with the girl I was wrong and things got real ugly the. Went on to serial date which left me empty and I had given up on being with someone and was gunna be alone but then some friends invited me out and introduced me to one of their sisters and we started taking and got engaged last October my point to this don’t give up there is someone out there for that will treat you the way you deserve and you will be happy beyond belief

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Thank you so much, I’m so sorry to hear for what you’ve been through and I’m always here to talk if you need it

Thank you, your response means a lot and I’m happy to hear for you and your fiancé. I hope you’re right and there is someone out there for me

Sorry for the late response I’m sure there will be you Kay not find them today or tomorrow but one day they’ll come into your life and things will be happy
And thank you things have been good so I’m starting with a new counselor and our wedding date is getting closer