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Belongs to: Therapist Reacts to Wrong Side of Heaven by Five Finger Death Punch
I’m sitting in my car balling my eyes out I lost one of the best men I ever served with last week he never called any of us it honestly feels like I let him down
Thank you so much for sharing with us, and thank you so much for your service. I’m so sorry for your loss, especially one so unexpected. The absolute gut punch of unexpected loss cuts so deep and we often have no idea where to turn or what to do. We start to blame ourselves and wonder what we could have done more to change the outcome. We can get stuck in a cycle of isolation and self-hate and we come down on ourselves for “not doing more”.
Though it doesn’t change the pain, I hope you know that his loss is not your fault. This burden is not yours to carry and the responsibility does not rest on your shoulders. As you grapple with this loss, remember that you will always have the memories of serving with him, and you can continue to share his legacy and story so that his life will continue to impact those who are still here today. He may be gone, but his story can resonate forever. Check in with your other friends and use this as a catalyst to come together and be open with each other.
This doesn’t make the pain of loss hurt any less though, and I’m sorry for that. I wish I could tell you there is a way to make it all fade away, but some cuts hurt for a while. Just remind yourself that you are not responsible, and his loss is not your fault.
If you ever need to talk more, please reach out again. Thank you for sharing, and both yourself and the family of your friend will be in my prayers. God bless and thank you again for your service.
My deepest condolences for your loss. I know it feels like you let them down but you didnt. Sure sometimes there are signs and sure sometimes they’ll talk when you reach out but unfortunately this isnt always the case and it sounds like this was one of those times. So please give yourself some grace. I have lost more than my fair share of loved ones, including by suicide. Grief is finnicky. Some days are soul crushing hard but other times you’ll be able to look back on your service brother and laugh and reminisce on the memories you shared. I hope as you are processing this loss you lean on the support of others as you need it. Whether that is friends, fellow service members, family, a therapist, a support group or returning here to heart support as an outlet. You deserve to process your feelings as he did. I’m sorry he wasnt able to utilize an outlet in time. Its good that youre crying. Its okay to not be okay. You lost someone you loved and it’s such a painful thing to go through. Please reach out again if you need to talk about it more.