From noodlez2088: i don’t know what’s happened but i’m so slowly regaining my suicidal thoughts and activities such as self harming and preparing for ending everything and i want to tell my therapist but i don’t know how to say it and im so close to ending it i did almost achieve it last night and im just so lost and i don’t know how much longer im going to be able to stay
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From kitkatwrites: Please stay. You’re important to the world. I know it doesn’t feel like it but I promise that you are
Hey there friend,
Please know you are not alone in this fight.
I too am here with my suicidal thoughts coming back, with the coping with self harm returning.
I know how tough it can be, I am so sorry this is a battle you must fight as well.
Life can get to be too much, with the emotions, the trials, the thoughts, the pain. I know it is difficult to overcome those negative things. When those things start to be too much, I try to take a step back from everything for a little bit. It’s something my mom taught me to do when I was younger; I did not appreciate it then but I do now. It can really help me in those times.
I understand the fear of telling your therapist about your thoughts, I have been there. I see my therapist on Thursday, and am debating on if I should be honest. I thought in the beginning that if I said anything in regards to the self harm or suicidal thoughts, that I would get sent to the hospital, with money I don’t have right now. I have learned that is not really the case for me, which I am thankful for. If it feels safe, it has been beneficial for me personally to be somewhat open about those things with my therapist.
I’m glad that you did not succeed in your attempt last night. You don’t deserve this pain. I know it is so hard to see but there is light at the end of the tunnel. There are better days ahead. I know it takes time and work, but as we go on, it gets easier to cope in healthy ways, it gets easier to get through.
I have been there where I just don’t see the point anymore, where I don’t know what to do anymore. I am there right now. But man you gotta keep going. I know it’s so hard. I know the negative can at times overcome the positive.
We just have to keep going. There are so many more things out there to experience, there are memories to be made, people to meet, things to do. What are some things that you enjoy? For me, I love art, and music. I am still trying to find my purpose in life, but I believe that what I want to do is make people feel less alone; I want to share what I have been through, what I have felt, I would like to do that in my art and music like so many that I look up to.
I know it is so hard, but you are strong. You are brave. You can do this friend, you can keep going.
We are always here to listen, to be a shoulder to lean on.
I am sending so much love your way. What are some things that you enjoy doing? I would love to hear sometime.
The sun will rise, and we will try again.
With love,
Lys
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From kitkatwrites: I’ve struggled with this before- hell, even very recently. But just look for the little things that bring you joy. The tiniest things if you need to. A sunset, your pets, hanging out with kids who make random things up and make you laugh. The other day I was playing with my cousins and we were playing pretend. The littlest boy yells
“YOU’RE UNDER ARREST.”
“For what?”
“FOR DINNER!”
And pretends to eat me.
His childlike wonder and adorable sense of the world made me smile.
The thing some people don’t tell you- and yet I think most here would back me up on this- is that fighting depression isn’t about finding an ultimate purpose for your life or trying to change your entire way of thinking at once. While that can happen it’s pretty rare and often a monumental task. It’s about finding the little thing that gets you through each day or even each hour. At least until you get help. And I know you can do it. You’ve made it this far. I believe in you.