@Heartsupportwall my mom passed, I’m getting a divorce, and I’m living on my own for the first time. I’m so anxious and my heart is shattered from the loss of my mom. Grateful my marriage is over as it needed to be—the process is just giving me more anxiety.
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Damn – that’s got to be so brutal to be going through all of that on top of each other. While letting go of the negativity is obviously a huge relief, it’s also got to be tragic in some pieces to lose someone you had committed your life to…and the loneliness can be a fucking bitch. On top of the raw grief of losing your mom – just feels like you’ve had a few of the legs of your chair knocked out and you’re trying to stay emotionally stable without the same level of support you’re used to…that’s really hard…especially to have to rebuild a life man – it’s so hard to pick up the pieces, especially after such an emotionally exhausting loss…I’m sorry you’re going through that. So much to carry on your own…
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@OriginalPoster so much happening all at once…in some ways it’s liberating – freeing yourself from toxicity…in some ways being on your own can be a relief…and in others it can be terrifyingly lonely…without a spouse and a mom at the same time, it feels like some of the support you’ve depended on – even if just in concept/role – you no longer have, and that is…scary. It sounds like you’re using the opportunity to try new things, to stand on your own two feet…AND I hope you hold space for the pieces of your heart that need to grieve and are seeking healing. The bitter and the sweet exist in the same bite here, and you deserve to fully experience both.
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Oh friend. I am so very sorry. These are major losses in your life and it makes absolutely sense to feel this overwhelming anxiety. Not only you are processing and grieving, but you are also learning to adapt to new life circumstances. It might take time to feel like walking on a solid ground again. You will get there though. One day after another. There is no rush in grieving and no pressure to put on our shoulders. You will learn to compose wirh all of this at your own pace. And through your magnificent ability to thrive, you are going to honor the memory of your mom and the life she inspired you. Love remmains. It goes beyond any distance, should it be of time or space. You are not alone. Take your time. Take it easy. <3