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I’m so done with everything

I’m so overwhelmed with everything at the moment, I just want to make it all stop. I’ve been keeping a lot to myself lately, never talking about how bad I actually feel, because all of my friends are going through their own things and I just don’t wanna be the extra problem on top. I’m so mad at myself, for getting these kind of thoughts again. I’m back at the point, where looking at my arms gives me the urge to cut again.
I hate it here so much. My home doesn’t even feel like home anymore. Nothing does. Don’t get me wrong, me and my parents have a good and healthy relationship, but it just doesn’t feel right or safe here. I can feel the tears in my eyes, but they won’t come out and it drives me insane. I really wanna end it all right now. I just want a break from life at this point. I wish I could fall asleep and just never wake up again, honestly.

Edit; I broke my promise. I did it again. I hurt myself again. I’m anything but proud of myself for that, but I feel like it’s the only way for me to feel something different, than just sadness.

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Hello, friend.

Things sound very overwhelming for you right now. I know I went through a similar time when I was a teen and I too didn’t want to wake up in the morning. All I can do is listen and try to help you with what also has helped me in the past. Just know this: you are not alone in how you feel.

Are there any outlets you can utilize right now to kind of get your situation off your mind? Whether it be listening to music or artistic expression like drawing or writing poetry? Or even taking a long hot shower to lower some of the stress you may be feeling? I would suggest different activities to get you off your mind, but that can be incredibly difficult. Sometimes focusing on your pain in a positive way like journaling regularly how you feel can be a great outlet. I know I have numerous journals from high school that got me through terrible times. It helped me to become my own best friend when I could be honest with myself and situation on paper.

Please hang in there, friend. I know times get tough and we want to give up sometimes. If you do decide to journal, make a list of all the things you want to do, accomplish and experience in your life. Give yourself something to look forward to.

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Thank you for sharing, it sounds like you are going through a lot and feel guilty for needing support. I am really sorry to hear that you hurt yourself again; I hope that you are safe and taking care of yourself now.

I am not sure how often you are able to watch Twitch, but Dan and Casey with heartsupport have a lot of really cool and helpful things to say about self harm and how replacing habits has helped people in our community. To summarize my understanding, is that hurting yourself has taken the place of other coping mechanisms and in order to move away from it, you may benefit from building new habits. For instance, some people draw or paint, some folks craft or create. I have also heard other people exercising or blogging. I think there might be something out there for you to replace the habit when you can to help repair your relationship with coping with tough stuff.

I know with the world in this state it can feel like issues we are experiencing would be unfair to unload onto others. I find that sitting in solidarity together, with the clear understanding that everyone is going through some crazy stuff, and then doing something together like a game or chatting or watching something helps me feel understood even without having to tell them what is going on. I hope you find a way to feel heard but in the meantime, thank you for posting here so we could support you. :hrtlegolove:

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