I’m so overwhelmed with everything at the moment, I just want to make it all stop. I’ve been keeping a lot to myself lately, never talking about how bad I actually feel, because all of my friends are going through their own things and I just don’t wanna be the extra problem on top. I’m so mad at myself, for getting these kind of thoughts again. I’m back at the point, where looking at my arms gives me the urge to cut again.
I hate it here so much. My home doesn’t even feel like home anymore. Nothing does. Don’t get me wrong, me and my parents have a good and healthy relationship, but it just doesn’t feel right or safe here. I can feel the tears in my eyes, but they won’t come out and it drives me insane. I really wanna end it all right now. I just want a break from life at this point. I wish I could fall asleep and just never wake up again, honestly.
Edit; I broke my promise. I did it again. I hurt myself again. I’m anything but proud of myself for that, but I feel like it’s the only way for me to feel something different, than just sadness.